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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600637">fortuitous | C. SB</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBOYK00/pseuds/FBOYK00'>FBOYK00</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), TREASURE (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Multi, My First Fanfic, Soft Choi Soobin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:33:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>76</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29600637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBOYK00/pseuds/FBOYK00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(adj.) happening by chance rather than intention</p><p> </p><p>in which neither wants to fall for the other but Choi Soobin thinks differently</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Soobin/Original Female Character(s), Choi Yeonjun/Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. disclaimer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! this is my first try at writing a fanfiction so like...i am open to criticism but i hope they are not too harsh[?]. I had previously wanted to give up on this plot because it was too lengthy and was taking too much of my time but...here i am!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All copyrights reserved to the author, FBOYK00. Please inform the author if you see anyone copying or illegally issuing any editions or excerpt of this book.</p><p>Please forgive any grammatical or situational errors that might have occurred in this book.</p><p>ALL OCCURRENCES IN THIS BOOK ARE FICTIONAL AND IN NO WAY ARE THEY RELATED TO REAL LIFE INCIDENTS AND HAPPENINGS. THIS BOOK IS NOT INTENDED TO DISRESPECT ANY TXT MEMBER AND HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.</p><p>THIS BOOK HAS NOT BEEN PUT UNDER ANY MATURE RATING BECAUSE IT IS COMPLETELY UP TO THE READERS TO CLASSIFY THIS AS MATURE OR AGE APPROPRIATE. I CAN DO ANYTHING WITH MY BOOK AND IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH READING SMUTS AND LEMONS, YOU ARE FREE TO LEAVE.</p><p>THIS BOOK DOES NOT SEXUALIZE ANY TXT MEMBER. SO DO NOT GET YOUR HOPES UP:)</p><p>THANK YOU AND STAY HAPPY ASHMOONS!</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Where is mom?"</p><p>"Must be somewhere"</p><p>"Near the park perhaps"</p><p>"Or with dad"</p><p>"Dad? Why would she be with dad?"</p><p>"She says we are going to have a sister...from some orphanage"</p><p>"A sister? Are you serious?"</p><p>"I am. She says our sister is going to be a lovely one too"</p><p>"The best perhaps"</p><p>"She will be best for us"</p><p>"Don't get your hopes up"</p><p>"Oh shut up!! You spoilsport!"</p><p>Five young kids bickered sitting on a park bench, Their mother had promised to take them out if they behaved well in school all day and did good in P.E. So of course she was keeping her promise except she wasn't really with them and they weren't really OUT somewhere. They were in their neighboring park, waiting for her to patiently return from wherever she was, after doing whatever she was doing.</p><p>"I better go ask the garden keeper. He must have seen her go out", the kid with full lips and wolf like eyes said.</p><p>Yeonjun.</p><p>He was the eldest...5 years old and he felt himself responsible for his brothers. Wasn't he old enough already? But their mother still tucked him in at night and still walked him across the road and still held him up at grocery stores so he could pick his favorite chocolate. He couldn't really reach them anyways...so what? He was still an adult.</p><p>"No you aren't going anywhere. Eomma told us to stay put", the tallest and apparently the calmest kid said.</p><p>Soobin.</p><p>He was known for getting all the attention in school...why? Because he was patient and unlike his brothers, he knew when to ask for a toilet pass and how to borrow a pencil from teachers and how to be polite to the girls in their class and protect them from mean boys. He was a good kid.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. prologue: 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Can we play at least hyung?!", the three year old whined, interrupting his hyungs and pouting for attention.</p><p>Beomgyu.</p><p>He rarely GOT attention and given the chance he could win his brothers over. They had two small two year old brothers too but they couldn't speak...yet so he was always eager to seize any advantage of being the most able youngest member. He loved being the middle man...he got the exactly right sized piece of cake and nobody fought him for it. He got the exactly right size of t-shirts and hoodies and nobody confused theirs with his. He got the exactly right sized dumplings (read: mandu) and his hyungs left him alone while they fought over what THEY got. He was in the safe zone and he loved it. He got the upper hand at everything-</p><p>"No you cannot. Take care of Kai and Taehyun for us", we will watch out for Eomma", Soobin hyung said pointing to the prams with his two younger brothers Huening Kai and Taehyun sleeping peacefully inside them.</p><p>Okay...he got the upper hand at everything except one. He was practically the babysitter of the family. His hyungs went off to play with their school mates and he was left back at home most of the time. Didn't matter at all. He kept to himself mostly so it wasn't a problem and he taught Kai and Taehyung the words HE learnt from everybody everyday so he had come to love his youngest brothers the most...more than even his hyungs. Their eomma had noticed it too because they wouldn't drink milk if he wasn't around. Wouldn't eat if he wasn't around. Wouldn't stop crying if he didn't tell them so.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He was alone alright...he didn't get to make many friends but he had his siblings.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And he loved them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. inception</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>SOME YEARS LATER</p><p> </p><p>Kang Maya.</p><p> </p><p>A beautiful name for a beautiful girl with a beautiful personality and of a beautiful nature...</p><p> </p><p>At least that's what she was known to be. Was she known enough? Yes she was. In a good way? Perhaps...she didn't know.</p><p>Was being the beautiful sister of a high school's five sweetest and most challenging boys counted as good? Maybe. She didn't like being called that but the girls in her previous school had been so keen on putting that label on her that she had ended up transferring schools altogether. Right from Gangwon to Seoul. And now here she was...all ready to go to Seoul High as a freshman-</p><p>"Woman?", she mumbled to herself, tilting her head to a side and looking at the mirror.</p><p>"Fresh-woman? Fresh-man? Fresh man-woman?", she repeated...and then shook her head.</p><p>Terms were confusing</p><p>She sighed in defeat and tied her dark brown hair into a neat ponytail. Her crystal blue eyes stared right back at her with the fear and uncertainty of starting a new day at a new school in a new town.</p><p>With the fear and uncertainty of starting all over again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>She eased the folds on her sweater and jeans and slumped on the bed...waiting for her five great brothers to actually remember she existed and come back from the neighboring playground to pick her up for school.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. apprehension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"How do you feel today?", Huening-kai asked.</p><p>"All good?", Taehyun added.</p><p>"All set?", Beomgyu mused.</p><p>"Prepared for school?", Soobin said thoughtfully.</p><p>"Happy?", Yeonjun asked concerned.</p><p>"Of course she is happy. Don't ask her that", Soobin snapped.</p><p>"What's your problem if I do?"</p><p>"What's your problem if you DON'T?"</p><p>"Okay STOP. I'm all good. I'm fine. Now just drive quietly please. My head is starting to hurt", Maya finally said interrupting the constant bickering of her brothers. They seemed to be more tensed about her first day at school than even SHE was.</p><p>"What? Your head hurts?!", Soobin and Yeonjun said together and then smirked at the coincidence.</p><p>"Hyung...should I call eomma?", Huening-kai asked sweetly.</p><p>"I guess so", Beomgyu said.</p><p>"Perhaps you should", Taehyun said...looking lost in his faraway world.</p><p>"I agree", Yeonjun and Soobin chorused together again and sighed. They were soul-brothers...sharing the same frigging brain cells EVERY TIME. But as of now, they were making Maya really nervous and they needed to stop.</p><p>"I said I am FINE. And it's YOU who are causing the headache so SHUT UP", she grumbled from the backseat, sitting between Huening-kai and Taehyun. They always ended up at the back because obviously...their hyungs had the upper hand and Beomgyu got the middle seat of their Jeep all to himself...the great middle man. She noticed her brothers pointedly shutting their mouths after she complained and smiled inwardly. They ALWAYS listened to her.</p><p>She pushed Huening-kai's face from her view and looked outside. He chuckled at this and laid his head back. They were just two days apart but he still exercised the 'elderly' vibes on her because obviously...she was the only one he COULD do that to.</p><p>She glared at him and went back to looking outside. Seoul was a really bright city...she noticed. She was surprised by it every time. She could never really take in all the details every time she passed its streets. It amazed her each time she spotted something new. Maya smiled widely when she again spotted another store...one she hadn't seen before.</p><p>"What is it this time", Soobin asked...he knew her well.</p><p>"An antique shop...a REALLY old one. I mean....remember last week I had seen one of these too? This one had this hookah pipe on display outside and there was this old lady who looked at me just for a moment. She seemed to be arguing with the shopkeeper you know? I could've sworn-"</p><p>"Alright alright! It was an antique shop you hadn't seen before. Just that", Beomgyu said, raising his hands in mock surrender. She narrowed her eyes and threw an empty bottle from her seat at him.</p><p>"You wish".</p><p>And that was about it. No one spoke a word for the rest of the ride uptown.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After all, it was their first day at a new school too. They were nervous and had scared the shit out of themselves last night after reading the school pamphlets. But they kept it together for the sake of their sister. She deserved the world and they didn't want to tense her any more than she already was.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. cavalier</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first day at high school for HER, Huening-kai and Taehyun,</p><p>The first day at a NEW high school for the others...</p><p>How good or bad could it be?</p><p>Maya stood there looking at the collection of light blue school buildings and the crowd of chattering students making their way inside, looking all familiar and happy and comfortable with each other.</p><p>"I don't think this is my place", she said nervously shifting behind Beomgyu. As a child, she had grown up being under his protection all the time but now he remained silent. Not a single word of encouragement.</p><p>"Don't worry Ara, it's going to be alright", Soobin said, brushing her ponytail lightly and beaming at her. Ara, was the universal nickname amongst her brothers for this really embarrassing incident that had happened years ago but they always liked talking about it when they were under stress. Even now, it did the trick and they laughed nervously.</p><p>"Let's git it", Yeonjun said.</p><p>"Let's GIT it", the others mused and with deep, nervous breaths, they walked inside, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. They immediately earned stares from students in the corridor as they went to the office to get their schedules. It must have been common for the three eldest because they were basketball players and for that matter, really good singers at the city festival. Some even waved at Soobin and Yeonjun knowingly and Maya found herself shrinking more and more behind Huening-kai. He had his sweet, innocent smile plastered on his face and was looking straight ahead but when he saw her getting anxious, he wrung an arm around her and made her walk beside him. She tended to get discouraged easily and he didn't want his sister to feel this way on her first day...or ANY day.</p><p>They walked past the double doors and entered the office together. The looks they earned THERE was obvious. Downright intimidated stares scrutinized them as they flanked their sister and went to get the slip.</p><p>"Excuse me, I am Choi Soobin, junior year. Choi Yeonjun here...he is in senior year. Choi Beomgyu...here...he is a sophomore. Kai Kamal Huening here and Kang Taehyun and...yes...Kang Maya...my sister, these three are freshmen. Our schedules please...thanks", Soobin said with a false-air of authority and handed them their slips with a shaky, you-know-i-am-nervous-so-shut-up smile and led them back outside.</p><p>"So...Maya. You have first with Huening-kai. Second with Taehyun and the third together. Do NOT stray away from your brothers-"</p><p>"We are barely months apart-"</p><p>"And stay close to them", Soobin said, ignoring her. He straightened her ponytail again...he did that everytime he was nervous or impatient so she didn't dare argue. Beomgyu patted her on her head and went to his class alone. As for the eldest two and the remaining, they waved and parted ways.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. pristine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For a first day at a completely new school, in a completely new town, it had gone unexpectedly well. In fact, it had by far surpassed Maya's expectations. She couldn't help but notice the sharp change in her surroundings in this school. No student cat-called her and labelled her an attention seeking sister of five good looking guys, the athletes didn't throw her hateful looks for being related to the best sportsmen in the teams. In fact, she felt quite normal, almost as if she fit in with the crowd. She smiled inwardly at this welcome change and made her way to the parking lot, only to find Huening Kai standing anxiously by the pavement near their car, shifting from foot to foot.</p><p>"What happened?", she asked, leaning against the hood and checking out her schedules. Noticing her silence, he dove into a detailed account of how troublesome his day had been. About how he had nearly gotten caught for nicking candy off the cafeteria, about how his new class was full of lazy ass guys, about how he was seen eating packet food and how the teacher had been about to scold him but only let him go just because he looked  young-</p><p>"O wow. You really are the kid then huh?", Maya pointed out gleefully.</p><p>He appeared not to have heard and continued with his tale. About how he had borrowed a pencil from the girl next to him but lost it, about how she changed her place before fifth and made a burly, glum guy sit beside him, about how he had tripped on his way to the teacher's desk because he was trying to act cool-</p><p>"How did so many things happen to you already? I was barely noticed by a fly", Taehyun said, coming from behind and startling the pair. His first day had rather been boring and unimpressive. The people here were dull and barely talked. The teachers didn't bother wishing back or smile after getting the right answer. It made getting top grades seem not worth the effort. He found his excitement of high school ebbing away already.</p><p>"Where were the hyungs though? I didn't even get to see them", he asked.</p><p>"Me neither", Huening Kai added.</p><p>"Neither did I", Maya said distractedly. She was fascinated by the map of the school which the lady at the desk upfront had pinned to her schedule. It had many playgrounds and a really large library which was open at all hours. She wanted to go there and read rather than go home. It was boring back there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. rancour - a soobin monologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He walked a little slowly, with measured steps along the vast halls of the new school...Seoul High they had said. He kept his eyes peeled for any friendly face, ANY friendly company that appeared inviting and ready to accept him. None came forward so he walked his own way. It had barely been a few minutes since he had parted with his siblings and here he was, being miserable and anxious already. He clutched the straps of his bag and introduced himself to his class and sat far back at the last bench in the corner. He could feel curious gazes on his back, scrutinizing stares following him as he sat by the open window and closed the blinds the moment he took his seat.</p><p>He couldn't stand the brightness. It hurt his eyes.</p><p>He wanted to meet the others but didn't know the way to their classes and he didn't see them around either. Maybe they were as panicked as he was? But that couldn't be. He had tried to put on his best confident face in the morning. He had tried his best to make them feel at ease. But then again, his best was rarely enough. He met Yeonjun in the cafeteria but he seemed to already have made some friends so he decided to keep distance. He tended to spoil moods real quick. Beomgyu had taken up arts and wasn't seen all day and as for the three youngest, he didn't even know what they were up to. His parents had allowed all of them to change schools and live by themselves in Seoul only on one condition: that he and Yeonjun would be responsible elders and keep the others together. What was he doing? Barely anything. He was doing nothing.</p><p>The day went by quickly and he hadn't attracted any attention safe for his looks. He was used to girls gaping at him wherever he went. Athletes hating him wherever he cared to play and win. He didn't get it. If the girls were so happy just to see his face, why didn't they come forward and strike a friendship? It cost nothing.</p><p>Was he really that gloomy and unapproachable?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. indecision</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin and the others soon came back from their classes and they were on their way home. Apparently Yeonjun hadn't had a fairly interesting first day either. Neither had Soobin but Beomgyu seemed happy.</p><p>"I made some friends I could hang out with", he said smiling when Maya asked him. She felt happy too. If her brothers could go out with friends, no wonder she could go and spend time at the library too? She thought of all the interesting possibilities open to her now that she could hang out alone in the city and rested her head dreamily by the window seat.<br/>__________________________________</p><p>***TIME SKIP***</p><p>"WHAT?? NO! PLEASE! Beomgyu-ssi can go by himself! Yeonjun can go ALONE. Why can't I then???", Maya yelled from across the table when her brothers denied to let her go out alone that evening.</p><p>"It just isn't safe Maya. Try to understand", Soobin said gravely.</p><p>"You being grave doesn't change ANYTHING you know!", she argued back indignantly. She was a freshman and she just wanted to go read at a library. Her brothers were being rigid.</p><p>"You could go with Beomgyu if you want", Yeonjun suggested after a while.</p><p>"Me? Why?? No...I just made some friends today! We were going to meet hyung", Beomgyu said, sounding a little disappointed. He didn't mind taking Maya out for some time but he had thought his hyungs would ATLEAST cut him some slack now that he was a sophomore. He thought he deserved some time to himself. He exchanged looks with his sister and she seemed to think the same.</p><p>"He has his friends to go out with too, you know. Leave it. I wouldn't go', she said dejectedly. She could just stay home now and complete her work. No big deal. She saw Beomgyu faltering a little and tried to stop him before he changed his mind but-</p><p>"Well it was just our first day at the school. They aren't even that good friends of mine. I'll take her hyung", he said monotonously.</p><p>"But-", she tried to argue,</p><p>"You sure?", Yeonjun asked and he nodded. Maya slumped back in her chair, feeling really guilty. Her brother had lost his first day out...just because of her. She didn't know how she could make it up to him. Not that she had the money to buy something. She didn't even know how to come up with a good apology. She looked warily at him but he was busy picking his food with a fork. This wouldn't be the first time, Beomgyu had to stall back because of her. Maybe he was used to it? But...which sister could ever think like this.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Their supper spoiled...just because of her... AGAIN.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. incertitude - a beomgyu ambivalence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The seoul library turned out to be a really big, warm and welcoming place. Elders walked along the cobbled paths and teenagers brought books out to the garden to read. Maya even saw some of her classmates pass by and waved at them. She was surprised when they waved back, in her previous school, this was considered stupid.</p><p>Beomgyu looked at his sister, smiling and being happy and smiled too. So what if he couldn't go out himself? Being with her made him happy and he enjoyed her company. They held hands and walked around a bit more, talking about their school and he felt himself getting more and more distracted from his shallow feeling.</p><p>"Why didn't you go with your friends though? I said I wouldn't go", Maya asked as they completed another round around the garden path. She didn't feel like reading just yet.</p><p>"When have you ever thought about yourself huh? ", he replied without thinking twice. Their sister was younger than them but they knew she was way more compromising than they could ever dream of being. These little day outs brought her so much happiness already. The least Beomgyu and the others could do was keep her company and-</p><p>"Hey Beomgyu Choi! What are you doing here! I thought you weren't coming?", someone called from behind them. Maya jumped in surprise and desperately made to hide herself behind her brother as he turned about. She didn't want anybody to know she was his sister, it was too soon to be bugged at school! Beomgyu didn't care, he held her hand tighter and made her stand beside him as his friends approached them.</p><p>"Let. Me. Go!-"</p><p>"No-"</p><p>"You don't understand! I will get bullied because of you...you don't-"</p><p>"You will get- what? Come on, don't be ridiculous-"</p><p>"Who is she? Your..girlfriend?", one of his friends came forward and asked him.</p><p>Maya braced herself for the ridicule,</p><p>"No. She is my sister. What are you doing here though? I thought we were meeting near the river?"</p><p>"This IS near the river mate. Just behind the backyard here. You want to bring her along?", another said casually.</p><p>-but none came. What...his friends would let her go just like that?</p><p>"You want to come along?", Beomgyu asked his nervous sister. He knew she was afraid of new company so he didn't want to stress her out too much.</p><p>"No thank you, really. I will just go...read some books", she said hurriedly and rushed to the ancient brick-red library building.</p><p>A part of him wanted to stop her and bring her along or at least stay back and give her company, another called for him to go spend time with his friends. He didn't know if he was being responsible.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I am coming then. I'll pick her up later", he told the group of boys and followed them outside into the cool autumn evening.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. adrift - a maya verity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya walked through the sliding doors into the library and breathed a sigh of relief. What had her brother been THINKING...holding her back like that, thinking she wouldn't be made fun of in school after that day. It wasn't as if he wasn't aware of what she'd had to go through in their previous school. It wasn't as if he wanted her to feel uncomfortable then why...she thought distractedly as she made her way among the shelves of old dusted books. It was her first time being all by herself she realized...it was true Beomgyu was nearby but she never really had been allowed to go wherever she wanted to go, do whatever she wanted to do...it was them, her siblings who told her what to do. This sudden moment of freedom was oddly unsettling. She didn't know where to sit or whom to strike a conversation with. Her footsteps echoed too loudly across the spacious hall and the whispers and hushed conversations of the readers were almost tangible. As she examined one row after another, she found curious pairs of eyes following her stance and got paranoid.</p><p>Feeling that she had run out of enough excuses to stand awkwardly among the shelves, she took off a book and made her way to the least populated desk...having only a girl with her nose stuck into a book, and sat in a corner, not trying to make her discomfort too obvious. Up until that day, she had thought she was one of the few who liked to read on their free evenings. Turned out she had been wrong. Turned out more than half the teenagers in the city were gathered here. Some laughing behind their books, some gesturing others to switch seats with them, some busy on their phones, using their books as cover while the remaining were immersed in reading. Even the girl sitting across her barely seemed to notice Maya. It was okay though, the lesser attention she got, the more comfortable she felt.</p><p>She sat there, reading the book in silence. She saw it was torn in places and no one had bothered taping them together. The binding was fragile and showed signs of misuse. She wondered whether everyone in this big town treated their books like that. If so, she didn't want any friends here, she'd rather be alone. Maya looked around for the librarian and made to get up-</p><p>"Ms. Yang isn't here. She comes after 8", the silent girl said bluntly and immersed herself in her book again. She didn't show signs of having noticed her at all. Maybe it wasn't her she had spoken to? But there was nobody else around their table. She seemed quite unbothered by her presence which was a little intriguing. Maya noticed the girl had really beautiful freckles and a small face framed in locks of dark brown hair. She was a little dark, with a really soothing golden complexion. She had a delicate, gentle aura around her but appeared to be quite unapproachable. She wore a red sweater over a white skirt and sat there, unbothered by her gaze. Realizing she had been staring for too long, Maya hurriedly busied herself with her book again.</p><p>"I saw you in school today. You are quite pretty", the girl said again, this time a little clearly as if she wanted to be heard. Maya looked up and saw her eyes were a shade of light green but they didn't show any signs of interest, neither curiosity...they appeared rather bored and...dead. She  didn't know why she thought like that. The girl kept staring at her and she realized she hadn't said anything.</p><p>"Oh", was all she could say before the girl began reading again.</p><p>"Hi. I am Kang Maya...you can call me Ara. I am sorry if I was impolite earlier. I didn't know what to say", Maya said eagerly, trying to make some conversation.</p><p>"It's okay. You weren't rude. I am Hyejin Kyun", she said not taking her eyes off the book.</p><p>"Hyejin...its a beautiful name-"</p><p>"It means rare. What do Maya and Ara mean?"</p><p>"Illusion. Ara means being beautiful", Maya said with a smile.</p><p>"Isn't beauty an illusion itself though? You don't even know you are beautiful until someone tells you so. It's their thought but your illusion isn't it?", the girl said monotonously and in one breath.</p><p>Hyejin still wasn't looking at her.</p><p>"Do you...not look at people when they talk?", she asked deciding to ignore her sudden explanation.</p><p>"I do but I don't know you. Should I look at you?", she said and looked up. Her gaze wasn't captivating but weirdly reassuring. Maya smiled jocundly and was happier still when she returned the smile.</p><p>"You look pretty when you smile", she said truthfully.</p><p>"Th-"</p><p>"Hush!", a neighboring reader hissed from behind his book and both of them broke into silent giggles, hiding their faces in their books.</p><p>She smiled a little to herself. She had just made her first ever friend and she liked it.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. rancour - a soobin monologue [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin parked the jeep outside the library premises and rested his head on the steering wheel. He could clearly see everything going on inside from there. He didn't know why he had followed them, neither had he wanted to, he had just followed his instincts. He heard the repeated honks of cars trying to park behind him, the honks of bicycles and the rustling of dry leaves as people walked inside the garden but his eyes remain peeled for her. He could have easily brought her here and let Beomgyu go but something had held him back that afternoon. He couldn't have explained the hesitation to himself even if he had wanted to. It was almost as if-</p><p>almost as if he were nervous to be in the company of his very own sister.</p><p>Which didn't make any sense. But now here he was, parked at a different corner of the city because (he just wanted to see her)he had followed his instincts. He saw Maya and Beomgyu holding hands and talking and felt a sense of calm wash over him. He was able to see her, and she seemed safe and happy. He followed their treads around the garden, catching snatches of their conversation now and then and gradually saw them making their way to the library.</p><p>So Beomgyu was taking good care of her.</p><p>He made to go away when he saw a couple of guys stop them in their tracks.. He saw Beomgyu talk knowingly with most of them and knew those were his friends but he saw Maya struggling to free herself from his grasp. He saw her getting uncomfortable and say something rushed to him and run into the building. He hurriedly got out of the car and tried to follow her inside but was stopped by the security. He had to wait till the senior citizen queue had cleared. He tried to explain that he was there for his sister but no one listened.</p><p>"You have to wait kid. The elders have waited longer than you. Besides your sister survived without you this long, i am sure she can wait a bit more", the guard said gruffly and pushed him aside for the others. He didn't have anything else to say.</p><p>He noticed Beomgyu follow the other guys out from the backyard and decided to follow them instead. He didn't want to get himself seen though. It would just give rise to unnecessary questions. He overheard them talking about Maya and grew increasingly curious.</p><p>"I thought she was your girlfriend, honestly, the way you held hands-"</p><p>"I am TELLING you she is my sister. Snap out of it mate-"</p><p>"Why did she run away like that though-"</p><p>"She doesn't like being around strangers."</p><p>"Anyways we would be seeing her in school wouldn't we?"</p><p>"I-i guess so"</p><p>"Mind introducing her to us?"</p><p>"I am telling you again...she doesn't like being around or talking to strangers-"</p><p>"O come on! We go to the same school. She is bound to see one or the other of us in the hallways. We can't act as if we don't know her-"</p><p>"Obviously. She is your sister after all"</p><p>"Alright alright! I- I will make her meet-"</p><p>"You wouldn't, would you?", Soobin said casually strolling up to them and putting an arm around Beomgyu.</p><p>"What are you doing here?", he said coldly, which seemed quite unlike him.</p><p>"What am I doing here? Shouldn't I be asking you the question? And where did the hyung go or are you going to pretend you don't know me?"</p><p>"Hyung? You both are siblings too? How big IS your family Beomgyu Choi?", one of the guys said from beside them.</p><p>"I am here with my friends. I was going to pick Maya later", he said through gritted teeth and tried to ease away from Soobin's hold but he just grasped his shoulders tighter.</p><p>"I don't know about you but if i see your...'friends' anywhere near her in or around school, you have had it", he said and freed his brother.</p><p>"What the hell hyung-"</p><p>"Come home by yourself. I am taking her with me", he said simply  and strolled back to the building. He could hear the shouts and jaunts of the guys behind him and it disgusted him. He couldn't believe his brother had been so careless. Agreeing to put their sister out for others to see,as if she were a show...the very thought was sick. He marched across the backyard fuming and went through the sliding doors into the cool, silent library.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. a short interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya kept speaking to Hyejin in rushed instances or when others weren't near. They talked a little, laughed a little more and read a lot.</p><p>For the first time in her life...Maya was feeling happy.</p><p>______________________</p><p>Soobin moved between the rows, not thinking about anything or anybody. He had been, for an instant, filled with anger and hatred so deep, he felt unbalanced. He wasn't angry at anybody or anything in particular and didn't know if he was doing the right thing. He didn't even know what he was doing. He walked up to the librarian's desk; finding it empty, he started searching amongst the whispering, murmuring readers instead. He strolled past a relatively empty desk with two bickering girls and stopped in his tracks.</p><p>There she was.</p><p>"Ara?"</p><p>She looked up from her book with a beautiful, radiant smile on her face, eyes searching eagerly for the one who'd spoken but it changed to horror just as quickly.</p><p>"Soobin-ssi what-"</p><p>"I really don't want to talk here. Outside?"</p><p>"Okay but i mean-"</p><p>"Please-"</p><p>He didn't think twice before going up to the pair and hurrying her out of the building, not caring about the intrigued onlookers, neither daring to look at her, afraid of what she might think of him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hate how short this chapter was but like, it was SUPPOSED to be kinda short, i don't know how to explain it :/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. her</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya followed her brother outside in a daze. She hadn't been able to process what had just happened. Where was Beomgyu? Why did Soobin seem angry? What was he even doing there? He had said he couldn't come in the first place.</p><p>He stopped outside their jeep and released her hand. She didn't say anything. She just stood there, fingers wrapped around her sweater paws, looking at him curiously. He hadn't been able to see her properly that evening and now that they stood there, facing each other, he took his time. She wore a light blue, high necked sweater tucked into what he knew was one of her favorite grey skirts, which skimmed right above her knees. Strands of hair that had come lose off her ponytail now framed her face in a delicate, mesmerizing way. He didn't know he had been staring for long but her sharp voice jolted him to his senses.</p><p>"Where is Beomgyu? What are you doing here? Did he go back home? How come our car is here too-...did you just take the car to drive casually? Mum said-!"</p><p>"Beomgyu is busy if you need to know. He is going home alone"</p><p>"And if you need to know, I had just started talking to a girl back there. I think you just ruined my chances of having a friend you know?", she said indignantly but without meaning to be rude. She knew she had yelled at him that afternoon and felt shameful for it.</p><p>"Oh? Well I thought we could spend some time together. I haven't really shown you around this city much have I?"</p><p>"Are you being serious right now?"</p><p>"What? You don't like-"</p><p>"Obviously I do! I would love to!", Maya said smiling her bright radiant smile. He didn't return it. He wasn't feeling happy. Her presence did give him some comfort but really, what good could comfort do where happiness couldn't exist?</p><p>He came forward to cup her face but she moved back.</p><p>"What if someone sees you too? They already know Beomgyu is my brother"</p><p>"They will know I am your brother too then", he said shortly and closed the distance between them. All five of them loved pampering her but he just liked holding her close once in a while. He sighed, holding her cheeks softly between his palms and brushing the hair out of her face. She grinned widely and looked at him with that same trust and belief he yearned to have for himself. He didn't know what made her so special. Maybe she was everything he wished he could have been when he had the time. Maybe she was born to be loved or maybe she was just herself and he found it enough. He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear before it struck him how late it was getting already.</p><p>"Ara-"</p><p>"Let's just sneak up to the roof today. I don't really feel like going anywhere else and am sure you didn't tell Yeonjun and the others before coming here?", she said grinning, seeing his ears slowly turn red.</p><p>"How do you know?!"</p><p>"I just do"</p><p>"Would you be happy though? I mean...the roof, you could just go there any other day-"</p><p>"Yes I would! I like spending time with you!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Oh".</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. the rooftop [1]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Be quiet!", Maya hissed as they crawled up to their roof. It wasn't usually difficult to reach there but now they had to avoid being seen by the others, or a row would follow. Yeonjun had called both of them several times but neither had answered and he was obviously mad. But they just wanted to have some fun and lone time.</p><p>"The window shed of your room is really narrow I can't help it"</p><p>"Ye whatever. I think I have reached...yes, here's the pipe. I am going up okay?"</p><p>"Its your turn to shut up", Soobin said but he helped her climb anyways. Their apartment was unusually quiet that day and it was weirding them out so he had gone an extra mile to be careful. They were now climbing up their own windows rather than the far easier attic stairs in the backyard.</p><p>All your fault, as Maya had put it but who cared? They were actually getting some peace and quiet.</p><p>She reached the top, gave him a hand and they settled on the edge, folding their legs in and sitting in silence.</p><p>Silence felt good. Neither wanted to initiate an awkward conversation so Soobin put his head on his sister's shoulder and they stayed like that for god knew how long. It wasn't a starless night like they used to have in Gangwon. The sky was smoggy and the moon was an ugly grey. The streets were noisy and the lights were dimly lit. Their neighborhood was an urban one and they were stranger kids staying by themselves with barely any acquaintances in the big city.</p><p>But there on the rough edge of the roof, they sat by themselves, one struggling to find happiness and meaning in his own existence, the other trying to find someone she could latch on to at her toughest hours yet neither finding what they needed most at the moment : love.</p><p>"I think I like how we are right now. I don't even feel like thinking about school", Maya said laying her head gently on top of her brother's.</p><p>"Why? Do you really hate school that much? I thought it had gone pretty well for you", Soobin said, more to himself than her.</p><p>"I don't know honestly. I don't have anything to go back to school for"</p><p>"You don't? But you would soon make friends and they wouldn't just stand by the sidelines"</p><p>"What makes you say that?"</p><p>"You are asking me?", he said and sat up straight, wringing an arm around her and putting her head on his chest. It must have been hurting her to support him like that, he didn't want her to get hurt.</p><p>They went into their hushed quietude again while Maya pondered on his question.</p><p>Realization slowly dawned on her face but she decided not to show it. She hadn't really given his life a thought in all the years they had been together. It must have been hard for him, being admired by everybody yet approached by none.</p><p>"Yes, am asking you"</p><p>"I just don't like being admired"</p><p>"Doesn't it spare you the struggles of being judged though?"</p><p>"It does but it cannot buy friendship"</p><p>"Grass is always greener I guess?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"If you say so"</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. a short interlude [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, Maya got into their Jeep quite nervously. School was going to be a stressful affair that day and she knew it. She knew word would soon get out that Beomgyu happened to be related to her and that she had to face the ridicule and bullying like she had done so many times before, but she was more tensed to meet the girl from the library- Hyejin - after Soobin had so unexpectedly picked her up mid conversation. She didn't know if she was more embarrassed than sorry or maybe even a little sympathetic. The girl had seemed to be so lonely. She didn't talk about such insecurities with the eldest two obviously and the youngest two weren't even that mature and that left her with her most trusted sibling and she thought he would know.</p><p>"Beomgyu-ssi...if someone interrupts you and your friend mid conversation and umm...you don't have to explain or whatever...how do you expect them to react?", she called from the back seat.</p><p>"Surprised for a part of it. Might even judge you-"</p><p>"If they are loony fuckers you mean?", Soobin interrupted from the dashboard startling the pair.</p><p>"YA! Don't swear in front of Ara", Yeonjun reprimanded.</p><p>"Am grown up you know-"</p><p>"Loony did you say? Just because you don't like somebody doesn't mean they are loony. So as you were saying Ara-"</p><p>"Remember what I said though", Soobin interrupted again and turned a deaf ear to the others. Maya was confused but she didn't dare interfere in something about her brothers. They hadn't taught her that way.</p><p>"Yes you were saying?", she continued hesitatingly. Her brothers could be scary in an argument and suddenly her problem felt quite insignificant.</p><p>"Well they would judge you a little but if they are good friends, you have nothing to worry about", Beomgyu said crossly and the conversation was closed.</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. friendship - acquaintance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>School was weird.</p><p>She became aware of curious eyes following her down the corridors as she made her way to first, caught phrases like 'pretty', 'oh really', 'wow' but none were accusatory. The suspense was frustrating her. The closer she got to her class, the more nervous she got...waiting for that one loud student who would yell into the halls that she was the sister of the popular, handsome Beomgyu. That one rude, gruff boy who would yell,</p><p>"STOP HER. SHE'S RELATED TO THOSE HANDSOME FIVE! STOP THAT SLUT-"</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>She entered the classroom and went to her seat and saw the girls and guys smiling at her...admiringly.</p><p>"Leave her the fuck alone, ya'll just obssessed", a familiar voice said from beside her. She looked at the person and gasped.</p><p>"Hyejin? We are- we are benchmates? ", she said in disbelief but before she could reply, a dozen other girls surrounded them and piped in.</p><p>"O I know right? I would faint if I were you"</p><p>"Same"</p><p>"Took you long enough to realize"</p><p>"She just transferred yesterday-"</p><p>"Anyways...this you?", another girl said and shoved a screen at Maya's face. It took some time for the truth to sink in. It was one of her middle school videos.</p><p>She used to be a student model and the clip played that one time she had dressed up for a middle school dance. The bullies had bullied her. The cat callers had cat called her and the watchers had watched her but none had said she was beautiful but her brothers.</p><p>Question was...how did this clip reach the Seoul High student portal? She slumped into her seat and covered her face with her bag. She didn't want to be called ugly even though her instincts said that it wasn't the reason the video was being circulated.</p><p>"Come on. Leave her alone alright? Go on, move", Hyejin said and surprisingly, the others obeyed. Maya heard the shifting of desks and the scraping of chairs but remained buried into her bag.</p><p>"Ya, Maya. Stop being so shy. They just want to praise you, right?", she said in a firm, confident tone quite unlike the girl back at the library. Hyejin took her bag from her, kept it by her feet and lifted up her chin. Something about her didn't make Maya want to hesitate.</p><p>"See? Easy does it. Gosh, you have messed up your collar already", she said and adjusted her shirt for her. Their faces were barely inches apart and Maya saw the clear line of light brown freckles dotting her nose, the slight flush on her cheeks and the small rise on her upper lip. The shine of her dark brown hair reflecting the sunlight, the same dead...yet lustrous glow in her green eyes.</p><p>She was beautiful. Maya kept staring till she sat beside her and stared back.</p><p>"Yes?", Hyejin asked smiling, her little dimples deepening in a mesmerizing way.</p><p>"You seem...different here", she said, completely at a loss for words. She didn't even know what to think. The other girls kept throwing them jealous, envious glances as if she were talking to some celebrity. She felt like she hadn't known the girl beside her at all...as if they hadn't ever met each other.</p><p>"Different?"</p><p>"Certainly. You got so many friends and you are popular too"</p><p>"I have no friends Maya. Popularity and friendship are perhaps two ends of the same coin. Just that, but I have no friends", she said a little sadly but still smiling. Maya was aware of how awkward she was making the conversation but she really didn't know what to say.</p><p>"Don't be like this Maya. Be yourself here. The others are starting to admire you, don't lose yourself so easily", Hyejin said, brushing her cheeks lightly.</p><p>She blushed helplessly.</p><p>"Oh no no no. No blushing. We are friends okay?", she said again and Maya nodded happily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyejin smiled back and turned to face upfront as their teacher entered though Maya found herself gazing mesmerized at her friend till the class was put to order.</p>
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<a name="section0018"><h2>18. a short interlude [3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>School was dismissed and Maya started to make her own solitary way to their jeep as usual but somewhere in the corridors, Hyejin ran upto her amidst wide eyed, surprised looks and slipped an arm into hers.</p><p>"Do you mind?", she asked falling into step beside her. Of course she did mind. Her friend was drawing more attention to herself and what she did and it made Maya uncomfortable.</p><p>"Of course I don't"</p><p>They walked out of the gates, talking about random stuff when she saw the nearly empty parking lot with their jeep and her brothers huddled around it. They were bickering continuously but seeing the girls approach, they stopped. Soobin was the first to notice them and he made to come forward but stopped midway.</p><p>"Who is that you are coming with? Is she the reason you are coming so late?", he asked more rudely than he had intended to.</p><p>"Hyejin and no. What's it with you-"</p><p>"She said she would show me around her home", Hyejin piped in, smiling her brilliant smile.</p><p>"I...did? Yes I did. So yeah, she is my new friend. I - I said I would show her around. So what?", Maya said with a false air of confidence. She knew her brothers would object to it but she felt rather brave and in charge. Hyejin was her friend. She could show her their house if she wanted to.</p><p>"What did you say was her name again?", Yeonjun asked coming up to them, wringing an arm around his sister and pulling her away from Hyejin. She followed him to their jeep, smiling apologetically at her friend who followed close behind. She couldn't help it if her siblings were like this. She would have to bear with it.</p><p>"Hyejin-"</p><p>"Kyun?", he asked as they settled in, Hyejin sharing the middle seat with Beomgyu, who looked on the verge of exploding. They hadn't argued but had reached a silent agreement on who would sit with the stranger, which would have been funny if she only  knew how her brother knew her friend's surname before she had even introduced her to them.</p><p>"How did you know her surname Yeonjun-ssi?", she asked once they were out on the highway. Yeonjun didn't reply. He adjusted the view mirror, slowed down the car a little and fixed Hyejin with a scrutinizing stare.</p><p>"So...Hyejin Kyun, girlfriend to Park Jihoon?"</p><p>Hyejin looked straight back at him and smiled.</p><p>"Am I?"</p><p>"I asked the same"</p><p>"Maybe", she said again and turned to look out the window.</p><p>"Maybe", Maya heard Yeonjun muse and shift his gaze to the road ahead.</p><p>Trust him to make any situation awkward for his sister.</p><p>She rose from her seat, quickly whispered an apology against Hyejin's ear before Huening and Taehyun pulled her back between them again.</p><p>"Don't move! You may fall!", they chorused together; she felt Soobin's gaze on her from the view mirror as the youngest two started making unnecessary noise as they always did .</p><p>"Sorry", she mouthed at him and though he didn't say anything either, she could have sworn she had seen him smile a little.</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. friendship - secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They reached home and before her brothers knew what was happening, Maya pulled Hyejin by the hand and rushed to her room. She heard Beomgyu yell 'Hey!' before shutting the door and breaking into a fit of careless giggles. It was fun defying her brothers like this and she had never known it could feel so good. Hyejin saw her and laughed.</p><p>"You are weird. In a funny way and I think you know that", she said, sitting on Maya's bed and smoothing out the covers. She took their bags, arranged them side by side and looked around happily, "You got a pretty room too", she added.</p><p>"Thank you and it's good to know am weird-", Maya said, sitting beside her.</p><p>"What do you mean?"</p><p>"My brothers think I am too normal. Honestly, you are the first person who has said so"</p><p>"They are pretty weird too though. Too controlling"</p><p>"Don't say that. I think they are pretty cool"</p><p>"Cool? Speak for yourself. You just move about like their pet", Hyejin said glumly and Maya saw traces of the quiet library girl coming back. She didn't know what to say either. She couldn't deny she blindly obeyed her brothers but she couldn't accept what her friend had said. Was it true? Perhaps. Did she want it to be true? No.</p><p>She didn't know.</p><p>"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Mind if I do up your room a bit?", she said getting up and smiling widely. Her teeth shone brilliantly and her hair reflected the last warm rays of sun coming through the open window. She was wearing a loose winter blue sweater and her jeans were folded up above the ankles. Maya found herself admiring her friend more frequently than necessary and even now, she was caught off guard by Hyejin's inexplicable beauty.</p><p>"Hey?", she snapped her fingers in front of her face and let out a little giggle, " You are sweet when you are busy staring at me you know?"</p><p>"Sorry. Help yourself", she said and laid on the bed.</p><p>Her eyes followed Hyejin around the room as she arranged the books on shelves, moved the rug near the bed, dusted her desk, cleaned her stationery and did everything she had procrastinated for till now. She didn't object. It was weirdly calming, watching her friend move about doing what she apparently loved to do. Maya slumped lazily on the bed, feeling glad that she had finally met someone who appreciated silence as much as she did. She admired the way her cheeks rose in a slow smile almost everytime she looked at her. She admired the warmth of her presence around her. She admired everything about her friend but-</p><p>"Are you thinking something?", Hyejin asked sitting cross-legged beside her.</p><p>"Who is Park Jihoon Hyejin-ah?", Maya finally asked the question that had been bothering her all this while.</p><p>"Park Jihoon?"</p><p>"Yes..."</p><p>"I think he is my ex...I don't know"</p><p>It wasn't the answer she had expected.</p><p>"You don't?"</p><p>"He says he loves me"</p><p>"You don't...?"</p><p>"I don't", Hyejin mused and smiled her slow smile at Maya again. She noticed the dead, sad glow was back in her eyes and she seemed rather tired, " Can I lay beside you?"</p><p>She nodded childishly.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The girls giggled as they lay side by side. Their giggles slowly turned into laughter and they found themselves being happier than they had ever been...</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>in years.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. succour - a yeonjun monologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[ the same day ]</p><p>He hadn't loved.</p><p>He knew he hadn't.  He didn't know how it felt.</p><p>Was this how it felt? This rush of feeling as he saw her approach, arm in arm with his sister? This rush of feeling as he saw the little freckles splashed over her nose, on her cheeks with her hair flowing loose on her right shoulder? This rush of feeling as she smiled a slow, relaxed smile whenever she talked? This entire emotional whirlwind as her bright green eyes locked with his...for a fraction of a second, yes, but their eyes had met and he could have sworn his heart had skipped a few beats just by her stare.</p><p>He knew she was Park Jihoon's girlfriend the moment Maya had said her name. The guy was in senior grade, was an athelete, was good at everything and had many friends and was popular. So obviously, they had found each other the very first day of school. He wouldn't say they were friends but Park Jihoon bragged about his 'girlfriend' a lot, even to people whom he barely knew. He had been okay with it...really. He had thought a girl would have to be crazy desperate for such a guy.</p><p>He definitely was not okay now. Her beauty...its radiance deserved care. Her smile...its warmth deserved protection. Her entire being...her sheer existence deserved someone way better than that Park Jihoon. But who was he to say that? He barely knew her.</p><p>He felt himself getting unexpectedly nervous in her presence and as she crossed him to get inside their car, her fresh strawberry scent caught him offguard. He didn't show it though. He was the eldest. He had an image to set and a sister to take care of. He felt happy for her. She had finally made a friend. What would she think if she knew he was feeling this way? He only had the best interests for her at heart after all. He didn't know why but what wouldn't he have given at that moment to deny that her friend belonged to Park Jihoon.</p><p>He didn't say anything still. He drove them out into the city and suppressed his curiosity and seemingly never ending questions of the girl sitting behind him. It was frustrating. He finally asked her.</p><p>"So...Hyejin Kyun, girlfriend to Park Jihoon?", he liked the way her name sounded when he said it.</p><p>She looked straight back at him and smiled.</p><p>"Am I?"</p><p>"I asked the same"</p><p>"Maybe", she said again and turned to look out the window.</p><p>"Maybe...", he mused, getting his hopes up despite himself. He was letting his sister down. He knew he couldn't like her friend even if he crumbled inside. He wanted their friendship to be genuine and without her brothers' interference.</p><p>Yet still,</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He couldn't help getting his hopes up....despite himself.</p>
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<a name="section0021"><h2>21. feelings [?]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[c.sb &amp; k.my over the months ]</p><p>Soobin: love hits SUDDENLY and out of the blue doesnt it? like...you never know when u fall for someone, but when u realize it, it blows you away. like that person is the only happiness you can feel...you SHOULD feel. Like that person is your own precious little secret, all belonging to yourself?</p><p>Maya: Uh...you sent it to the wrong person</p><p>Soobin: Oh.</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya: Soobin-ssi? Are you in your room? The lights are out</p><p>Soobin: Yes, do you want me to come over?</p><p>Maya: Yes please</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya: Soobin ssi! Beomgyu left with his friends again. The library is closing soon!</p><p>Soobin: Coming</p><p>________________</p><p>Soobin: Ara. Homework done?</p><p>Maya: Done.</p><p>Soobin: Meet me outside in five. Ice cream!</p><p>Maya: Alright...</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya:  Are you free now?</p><p>Soobin: ?</p><p>Maya: Can you drop me at the library? Ice cream after!</p><p>Soobin:  Let's sit by the Han river</p><p>________________</p><p>Soobin:  Maya, I messed up.</p><p>Maya: Now what?</p><p>Soobin:  Help me cook. The others are busy</p><p>Maya: So am I!</p><p>Soobin: I'll take you to the river after?...and the library?</p><p>Maya: O alright</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya: Hyejin didn't come today too. Come pick me up from the library. Soobin-ssi, I think she has a boyfriend</p><p>Soobin: No, she does not</p><p>Maya: How do you know?</p><p>Soobin: I just do.</p><p>Maya: Do you like her?</p><p>Soobin: Shall I leave you there?</p><p>Maya: Okay sorry I get it! You like someone else. Please come fast! Ice cream after!</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya: Soobin-ssi! The libr-</p><p>Soobin: Coming with ice creams. Sit by the river and wait</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya: Soobin-ssi! Beomgyu-</p><p>Soobin: Where are you?</p><p>Maya: Uh-</p><p>Soobin: Coming</p><p>________________</p><p>Soobin: Maya-</p><p>Maya: Only if -</p><p>Soobin: Ice creams?</p><p>Maya: Yes.</p><p>Soobin: Done. I'm by the river. Tell the librarian you got a date.</p><p>Maya: Soobin ssi what-</p><p>Soobin: Just to get out of there. Am by the river. Waiting.</p><p>________________</p><p>Soobin: How long are you going to read?</p><p>Maya: I see you! What are you doing here? Where is Beomg-</p><p>Soobin: He left again. Come on. The river bank's not that crowded now.</p><p>Maya: Coming!</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya: Soobin ssi, what did you mean by that date?</p><p>Soobin: You are still on about it?</p><p>Maya: O forget it. It's Nothing.</p><p>________________</p><p>Maya:</p><p>Soobin: Coming</p><p>[ end ]</p>
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<a name="section0022"><h2>22. sequester - a hyejin monologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>FEW MONTHS LATER</p><p> </p><p>He had drove her home that day.</p><p>Choi Yeonjun he had said.</p><p>Yes that was his name.</p><p>They had talked a little on the way, he had smiled at her several times and one last time before she had gotten out of the Jeep. That was all.</p><p>Was that all? Yes it was.</p><p>"TELL ME WHOM YOU HAVE BEEN MEETING ALL THIS WHILE YOU F-", he said kicking her stomach and making her spit blood.</p><p>"D- don't swear at me", she said meekly, crouched in a corner of the cool marble floor in the school.</p><p>She knew she had finally been cornered. What was there to gain from lying? Nothing.</p><p>She knew she had to speak sooner or later, more for her safety than anybody else's. Or was there anybody else she wanted to save too?</p><p>Another kick at her gut sent her wretching and curling into a ball.</p><p>Blood flowed freely onto the floor and wet her cheeks.</p><p>The floor felt oddly cool against her face. It felt good.</p><p>She knew she was bleeding and she had to get out of there somehow.</p><p>How?</p><p>"Whom. Have. You. Been. Meeting? Hyejin I won't ask a second time", the monster said, pulling her up by the hair and shaking her violently.</p><p> </p><p>She had to get out of there somehow.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>How?</p><p>She screamed.</p>
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<a name="section0023"><h2>23. a short interlude [4]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please wait for a while, maybe she is caught up in something", Maya said tensely to her brothers as they waited outside the school for Hyejin. They were growing increasingly impatient and were planning to leave her behind. She was supposed to come to their home again today. It had grown into a regular thing over the past few months. What was holding her up for so long? She had never been this late before and school activities surely weren't this lengthy.</p><p>"Hyung let's go. Maybe she is meeting that boyfriend of hers again. Park Jihoon they say", Taehyun said irritably.</p><p>"No. He isn't meeting her. I talked to him a while ago. He has practice", Beomgyu corrected. Jihoon was his friend. He thought he was a rather decent guy. He kept bragging about his girlfriend and frequently showed up with her during their meets.</p><p>"What do you say Yeonjun hyung?", Kai called from inside their Jeep, where he had been playing games all this while but had gotten bored eventually. His sister's best friend was testing his patience today.</p><p>Yeonjun remained silent.</p><p>"Yeonjun Hyung-", Huening pestered but Soobin cut him off.</p><p>"Leave him alone", he said and the others immediately shut up. He knew more than they did and at the moment, he was sure, they didn't understand.</p><p>"Am going inside and calling her-", Maya said and made to go but he pulled her by her backpack and clasped her hand tightly.</p><p>"You are going nowhere. Stay right-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hyejin screamed.</p>
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<a name="section0024"><h2>24. succour - a yeonjun monologue [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He stood beside his siblings, waiting with bated breath, growing increasingly impatient for her to come. He was worried. There wouldn't have been place for worry otherwise but he knew for sure, they had been caught.</p><p>Caught meeting by the cafeteria like they always did. Like they always had been doing since that first week of her frequent visits to their home. They had grown closer. It had been frustrating on his part at first. She was too resistant to happiness. It was almost as if she pushed others away...because 'Park Jihoon loved her'. It hadn't taken him long to figure she had fallen into abusive hands. He felt sorry for her and slowly learnt to be patient. He slowly learnt to wait, be understanding and had grown quiet being with her. But it was okay. He had watched her recoil from his touch and had waited till the day she found comfort in his arms.</p><p>The others didn't know about them obviously. What would his sister think? Weren't they always putting Maya before them? Before their own well being? Wasn't he, being the eldest, supposed to do the same too? But he hadn't. He had led her best friend...her only friend into trouble today.</p><p>Park Jihoon had caught them and she hadn't let him confront the bastard.</p><p>Now, he waited patiently for her to come out of the gates, unharmed and smiling just like always. He didn't pay heed to the others' bickering. She mattered more. Her happiness mattered more. And then he heard it.</p><p>She had screamed.</p><p>A blood curdling scream which gave him goosebumps. He couldn't move. What were they doing to her? It took a moment for the truth to hit him.</p><p>And he ran.</p><p>He heard the others calling him back but who the fuck were they to stop him. He ran as fast as he could. Across the mowed loans, across the parking lots, across the school gates and into the echoing, empty corridors. The afternoon sun reflected off the lockers and glittered off the marble tiles, his footsteps echoed loudly through the building as he followed the sound of her whimpering. It was coming from outside the guys' washroom.</p>
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<a name="section0025"><h2>25. succour - a yeonjun monologue [3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He skidded to a halt outside the corridor and hid against a wall. Nobody spoke for a while but then the rough, very known rude voice of Park Jihoon cut through the building as he pulled her by the hair and shook her up again.</p><p>"That's it. I have asked you enough. You are going home dead bitch-"</p><p>"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL HER?", Yeonjun said, dropping all senses of wrong doing and hurling a punch at the moron's jaw. He fell to the ground and Hyejin, whimpering and in tears retreated against the walls. She looked miserable. Her lips were bleeding, a fine line of red trickling down her chin where Park Jihoon had hit her. He couldn't bear to see her like this. Anger and hatred boiled in him, the likes of which he'd never felt before. He picked the guy by the collar and kicked his balls, kicked his guts so hard that he spat blood.</p><p>"What. Did. You. Do. To. HER", he spoke through gritted teeth. He was surprised he could even speak. Angry tears welled up in his eyes as Jihoon lay sprawled on the floor where he had released him. Surprisingly, he was smiling.</p><p>"You think this is funny, do you?", Yeonjun sat across him and gripped his chin with all his might, "You think this is fucking funny DO YOU?!", he repeated, punching him squarely on the jaw, making him bleed and spit out a broken tooth. He still laughed like a maniac.</p><p>"She would never love you like she loves me cocksucker", Park Jihoon spat at Yeonjun and laughed again.</p><p>His laughter gave him enough incentive to beat him point blank in school, at this very hour but he stole a glance at Hyejin.</p><p>She was staring at him. Horrified at what he had been doing. At what he was doing. She shook her head vigorously and pressed further against the wall as if she was scared-</p><p>"Are you...scared of me?', he said cautiously, lowering his fist, caught off guard by her state. She didn't say anything but her eyes widened. Before he could know why, he felt a powerful punch meet his chin and he was sent skidding into the lockers. Jihoon ran as fast as his legs could carry before Yeonjun could get up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>But he didn't get up.</p>
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<a name="section0026"><h2>26. succour - a yeonjun monologue [4]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His eyelids flickered and he slowly opened them to painful brightness.</p><p>"argh!", he groaned as pangs of pain flashed through his jaw and his temple throbbed. He closed his eyes to the light and snuggled into the warm comfort below his head. The warmth felt good. The pain didn't. Where had he got it from? Why was it aching so much? Why couldn't he remember? The sudden amnesia was frustrating. He winced as someone dabbed a wet cloth unsteadily at his chin.</p><p>"D-does it hurt too much?", a girl asked in a shaken voice. He couldn't place the voice at first. He knew something had happened. He racked his brain to remember. Why couldn't he remember? But his jaw hurt with every small movement of his and the pain was distracting. That's when everything came back to him.</p><p>Hyejin.</p><p>His eyes flew open and he sat bolt upright as he remembered the happenings of that day. Or was it even the same day? As his eyes adjusted to the brightness, he realized he was lying on the floor of a tube lit classroom and the sky had darkened outside. How was he here? Where was Hyejin? Where were his siblings?</p><p>"Hyejin-ah? Where-"</p><p>"I am here. Behind you", she said in a shaky voice. He turned around in panic and without thinking twice, he hugged her. He hugged her as tightly as he could. She didn't object.</p><p>"Are you okay? Does it hurt? Where does it hurt? How badly did he hit you? I am so sorry. I am just so sorry Hyejin-ah. I really am. I am s-"</p><p>"I am not okay. And its okay", she said in his arms. Seeing she was sitting on the floor with her bruised knees, he pulled away from the hug, picked her up and made her sit on a desk.</p><p>"Y-you need band aids. Sit right here okay?", he mumbled, got up and moved about the classroom in a hurry. Where the fuck was the First aid kit when he needed it.</p><p>"Its by the white board Yeonjun", she said amused.</p><p>"Oh. Yeah, yeah I forgot", he said, smiling apologetically and brought the box to her. It would be his first time applying a band aid, which was weird since he was an athlete but which was true.</p><p>"It's your first time doing this isn't it?", she asked quietly.</p><p>He smiled, knowing it wasn't hurting her that much.</p><p>"Uh...yeah", he said and she broke into sweet, musical giggles. The sound was soothing...comforting...magical. It didn't tell him to stay strong but appeared to be saying that being weak was okay. Wasn't her laughter the first he had heard when they had met? He looked at her knees, they were bruised and black. His throat ache, trying to let out a sob. It hurt him to see her like this. He sprayed them, ignoring her winces and her tight clasp on his shoulder. It was okay. She was going to get better soon. His eyes leveled with her face and he saw the deep cut on her lip.It was still bleeding. The throb worsened in his throat. He wiped off the blood silently, not making eye contact with her, afraid it would give away his weakness and break him down. She sat there, still as a stone and let him do what he wanted. He would've asked her why at other times but today, it was welcome. He was shaken up and anxious. Scared and fearful. Hurting and in pain. But he didn't show it.</p><p>Their faces were barely inches apart as he softly put a band-aid on her chin. He didn't move. She sat tensely on the desk facing him, barely breathing. She didn't move either. He put his arms on either side of the desk and stepped closer. He looked into her eyes and they looked right back. Those same, light green, bright yet tired pair of eyes of a few months ago. He leaned closer hesitantly. Perhaps she would object now. He knew she was still sensitive.</p><p>A little closer.</p><p>Some more</p><p>(she still hadn't stopped him)</p><p>he leaned in</p><p>(was she okay with it?)</p><p>they kissed.</p>
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<a name="section0027"><h2>27. incertitude - a beomgyu ambivalence [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fucking Park Jihoon.</p><p>Beomgyu grimaced, laying on the floor of his room, hands cut open with a blade, angry bitter tears flowing down his cheeks.</p><p>Fucking Park Jihoon.</p><p>The reason he thought he had had friends.</p><p>The reason he now knew he would have no one.</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. a short interlude [5]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[ yeonjun's graduation day ]</p><p>Yeonjun's diary entry:</p><p>Dear Diary,</p><p>Its my graduation today. Ara is throwing a tantrum. She hadn't wanted to go. She  had wanted to spend time with Hyejin-ah. Hyejin is going too. She says she wants to be there. She is a sophomore now. My sister is too. They are technically not allowed to be there but they are family right? I am bringing my family along. Maybe I'll take her out for a drink or two after. Ara still does not know we are dating. I don't want to disappoint her. Here comes Soobin. He seems so tense today. Does he have a girlfriend too? He is the only one who knows about mine , if he is not telling me about his, he is being unfair. Maybe I'll ask him on the drive to school. He is wearing a grey trench coat today. Why though? Does he have a date? I will ask him. Here comes Beomgyu. He doesn't say anything and wears those ridiculous full sleeves as usual. I think he got a tattoo. I'll force him to show it. That brat. Mixing with the wrong people and getting influenced to do this shit. Huening and Taehyun are playing in the backyard. They are sophomores. I hope they remember that. Now me. I don't know. I am rather nervous. How does it feel to graduate? Does it feel good? Insecure? I got no idea. Our parents are not here as always. Maybe they will pay a visit one day. Its time for me to go now.</p><p>PS: Ara looks so beautiful in her black sweater and grey skirt. I love my sister :)</p><p>Yours truly,</p><p>Choi Yeonjun.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. adrift - a maya verity [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[ yeonjun's graduation day ]</p><p>The school buzzed with senior students and their parents as Maya and her brothers made their way to the stands. Yeonjun had gone off to meet his friends somewhere and had taken Hyejin along for some reason. Maybe they had common friends. She saw people waving at her, guys pointing at her and looking at each other as she passed the rows of students. She couldn't help it if she was popular just for being pretty.</p><p>"Ara? Are you okay?", Soobin asked, following close behind. The youngest two were messing around with Beomgyu some paces away and had dropped all pretenses of being well=behaved, responsible brothers at a graduation long ago. She nodded but he still slipped a hand into hers, pulled her closer and guided her through the crowd. She didn't know why but whenever she saw Soobin these days, he seemed nervous. Why though? Had she really changed like Hyejin had said? Was she no longer as shy as she used to be?</p><p>"What are you thinking?", he asked, holding her face in a hand and stroking her cheek with a thumb once they had stood in a corner facing the stage. His touch felt so soft and delicate at times she-</p><p>What was she thinking? He was her brother.</p><p>"Nothing", she said and he smiled his little crooked smile-</p><p>(why was she getting hot around the collar?)</p><p>his hand slid down to her hand</p><p>(surely he had touched her a million times before, why did this feel different?)</p><p>and intertwined their fingers together again.</p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. a short interlude [6]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[ after the graduation ]</p><p>Maya stood there amidst the buzzing excited crowd and found herself being continuously shunted to the side even though Soobin held her hand in a tight grip. The excitement was making her nervous. She tried to call the others so that they could go home but they had found friends and were busy conversing. Hyejin was nowhere to be seen. Finding no one else left-</p><p>(she didn't know why she didn't want to be alone with him)</p><p>she gripped his arm tightly which made him look back, raising an eyebrow in surprise.</p><p>"Sorry"</p><p>"Oh don't be. I got just the perfect getaway", he said after a while, beaming at her and pushing through the crowd.</p><p>"What now-"</p><p>"Follow me-"</p><p>"The others-!"</p><p>"Come on!"</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. rancour - a soobin monologue [3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They parked outside the ice skating rink and went inside, shivering in the chilly February evening. Soobin had brought her there out of a sudden decision but really, now that they stood there outside the iced area, skating seemed like a bad choice.</p><p>He had skated before but he knew she hadn't. She tugged at the sleeves of his trench coat and he saw her nervously looking at the skaters inside. He took their intertwined fingers and tucked them into his pocket, rubbing her knuckles with his thumb, making sure her hands were warm. Besides, wasn't this considered a...couple activity? Were they even more than siblings? He was sure she didn't know how he felt. But it wasn't even her place to know it.</p><p>She was his sister.</p><p>"Are you...sure we shall skate? The Han river's not far-"</p><p>"No. I want to try. Besides, there are no school kids to see me with you so.."</p><p>"Right. Sit by those benches. I'll bring the skates. Okay?"</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>He was feeling nervous already. How was he going to give her a good time? How was he going to make sure she was comfortable? Was she even okay with skating or was she just compromising for him?</p><p>She must even be knowing this was considered slightly romantic by now. After all, she wasn't really that young anymore.</p><p>He brought along the skates and wore them in silence.</p><p>"Soobin-ssi...how the heck am I supposed to tie these?", she asked, staring blankly at him.</p><p>"Mind if I tie them for you then?"</p><p>"Would I ask the guard then or something?"</p><p>"Right, right", he said smiling and bent down on his knee to do the laces for her. She looked exceptionally pretty today. Her black high necked sweater and grey skirt complimented her fair skin and her crystal blue eyes shown brightly amidst her curtain of dark hair, which had been pulled into a high ponytail. His face was level with hers and her hair tickled his cheeks. Her mint scent hit him as he tied the laces and the close proximity was giving him butterflies. He had never felt like this before. The girls in his class talked about 'getting butterflies' all the time but he felt rather sick.</p><p>Why wasn't she breathing though?</p><p>"Ya. Are you sure you are okay? You are barely breathing!", he said letting out a laugh as her cheeks flushed slightly.</p><p>Was she blushing?</p><p>"I am breathing! W-what makes you say that? Are the laces done? Let's go. O i am so excited. skating sounds so fun. i can barely wait", she said monotonously and in one breath.</p><p>He stood up and blinked. Maybe she was finally a girl or something. Girls in his year always rapped like this when they talked to him.</p><p>But she was his sister.</p><p>"You could be a rapper one of these days you know, Ara? You are weird"</p><p>"Shut up"</p>
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<a name="section0032"><h2>32. us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Help me! I am falling-"</p><p>"No you are not", Soobin said as he led her by the hand around the rink. It was smooth for him. One hand behind his back and the other holding hers as he skated among the others. It was worse than rough for Maya. She kept flailing her free arm like a penguin and clasped his hand in such a tight grip, it was starting to ache already. She tapped the skates on the ice like a toddler and kept losing her balance.</p><p>"I am going to faaaaall-", she nagged as he took her from one pole to the other slowly yet steadily, smiling to himself and stealing glances at her sweet anxious face. Her cheeks were tinged red from the cold and her hair had come loose all over her face again.</p><p>Why was she so pretty?</p><p>"Ara, another round and we are stopping for a while okay?"</p><p>"Wh-why, I'll fall!", she said shaking her arm again.</p><p>"Your hair has come out-"</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"No more talking, come on", he said and sped up his skating. He saw her panic and shut up in fear behind him. They skid around the boundaries for a while before he turned her around to face him and held her by both hands. She wasn't looking at him, thank goodness for she was busy minding her steps. He was blushing too furiously to pass it away to the cold. Couples skated all around them and passed them occasional smiles, mistaking them for one too no doubt. But who cared? She was having fun, that's all that mattered. He wrung their fingers together and skated backwards as she balanced on herself and glided along with him.</p><p>"Its fun right?", he said when she finally looked up and smiled gleefully at him.</p><p>They glided smoothly for a while before he suddenly let go of her hand and skidded a good length backwards.</p><p>"Y-ya! What are you doing?! I am going to f-", she squeaked, starting to flail her arms again and walked forward with small, measured steps.</p><p>"Why was she so cute?",</p><p>he thought as he held her by cupping her face and making her look up at him. She stopped talking immediately and held the long collars of his coat with two little clenched fists for support.</p><p>"Wot?", she mumbled as he squished her cheeks and booped their noses together. Did couples do this too? He didn't know but between him and her, they had been doing this since ages. Her fresh mint breath mixed with his as she laughed through her squished cheeks, their noses nearly touching again. Butterflies exploded in his stomach as her eyes found his and stared gleefully at him. What with her beautiful musical laughter and those ocean deep eyes drowning him in their depth, he felt quite dizzy. Her presence was intoxicating and it was too complicated to explain even to himself. Her fists tightened on his collars as her laugh turned to giggles and tears came into her eyes. He didn't know what was so funny about booping her nose but it had always been this way.</p><p>He was glad nothing had changed.</p><p>He laughed for the first time in front of her.</p><p>He laughed a hearty laughter, his lips curving delicately around his dimples as his sister looked up at him and giggled through her squished cheeks.</p><p>Amidst the dozens of other couples in the rink and in between his laughter, Soobin</p><p>(and he was sure of it)</p><p>could say he had fallen in love-</p><p>(but he hadn't wanted to)</p><p>unconditionally and irrevocably-</p><p>(there was no coming back from this)</p><p>with his sister.</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. our time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"We are worrying Yeonjun so much now. He must be so worried", Maya said lazily, eating her share of corn, with her head resting on Soobin's shoulder and eyes following the movement of the last wandering ferries of the day. She liked watching them come home. The sound of the fisherman's hark as they passed the bank had an odd sort of kick to it. He, on the other hand, was busy admiring her from the side. She wasn't aware of his stare, thank heavens, and he was taking his own sweet time. She didn't have freckles like her pretty best friend but to him she was the prettiest. Her skin had that golden tinge to it and was smooth to touch. How was she so pretty? He buried his face into her hair, blushing and smiling to himself. She giggled and wriggled out of his grasp.</p><p>"You are tickling me!", Maya said laughing.</p><p>"Am I?", he said, smiling lightly. His happiness had been short lived so he didn't laugh; though he could still feel the warmth of her breath on him. It was a sweet memory and he wanted to treasure it as long as he could.</p><p>"Did you even hear me? I said-"</p><p>"We are worrying Yeonjun. Yeah. He will come around", he said and tugged her to his side. He hummed to himself wringing an arm around her and putting her head on his shoulder, hoping she would stop talking. No such luck.</p><p>She still kept on bickering.</p><p>"Ya! We should seriously go home now! Its getting chilly t-"</p><p>"Who wanted to eat ice cream a while ago?"</p><p>"Come on! We could go home and talk by ourselves too!"</p><p>"Ourselves...?"</p><p>Awkward silence.</p><p>"Don't be ridiculous.  You know what I mean-"</p><p>"YoU KnOw WhAt i mEaN", he teased her and got up quickly as Maya chased him along the bank.</p><p>"Do not tease me-!"</p><p>"dO NoT TeAsE Me", he cooed and saw how her cheeks flushed red again and the way her dimples deepened. She chased him right to the ports and they raced back to their spot but halted when they saw their Jeep parked near it.</p><p>Their brother stood silently by the door, looking blankly at them, hands clasped together in front of him, wearing his ridiculous full sleeves as usual. They knew at once, he had come there without intending to. He appeared out of place and didn't make eye contact, staring determinedly at his untied shoes.</p><p>"Hyung sent me to bring you back home", he said, in barely more than a whisper.</p><p>"Yeonjun?", Soobin asked coming forward, looking worried at his state.</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>"C-can you get in the car a bit? I want to talk...i want to talk to her-"</p><p>"Yes, alright but-"</p><p>"P-please", he sounded on the verge of tears.</p><p>"Okay", Soobin got into the car and drove it to one of the parking lots, leaving Maya alone with him.</p><p>She appeared worried too. Why was he being like this?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. incertitude - a beomgyu ambivalence [3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He heard his sister call his name.</p><p>Why did it feel so unfamiliar to him? Was it because his siblings barely talked to him since they had found out he was friends with Park Jihoon? Or was it just because he had forgotten his ownself over the past few weeks?</p><p>"Beomgyu-ssi? Look at me?", Maya called again, coming up to him and taking his hand in hers. He smiled through his curtain of dark uncut hair, still keeping his gaze firmly on his shoes. Her hands were so small, it was as if-</p><p>(did he deserve it?)</p><p>she was his little sister.</p><p>Why was he feeling so low? The blade had cut deep enough into his skin already. Why wasn't he still satisfied? He had punished himself enough. Didn't he, like all others, deserve to rest too? Didn't he deserve happiness and friends like them? Or was he really undeserving of them as Yeonjun hyung had clearly pointed out? Had he really failed his siblings and damaged himself that much? Maybe he had or-</p><p>"Beomgyu 오빠 talk to me??", she prodded, sounding really worried. Why was she worried? He hadn't even shown her what he was doing to himself. What would she think of him if she saw those cuts? Wouldn't she hate him like the others too? Yes she-</p><p>- hugged him.</p><p>Her sudden act caught him by surprise for a moment. He hadn't come into physical contact with anybody but himself for the few weeks that had passed since Hyejin was abused. He didn't think he deserved it but couldn't resist her comfort either.</p><p>Beomgyu clenched his fists and hid into her hair, trying to control his bitter tears as she rubbed his back and neck.</p><p>"What happened? Why  are you crying like this? Talk to me Beomgyu-ssi"</p><p>He remained silent.</p><p>His arms stung and ached horribly but he didn't speak. He knew his voice would break.</p><p>"오빠, did you do something to yourself?", she asked soothingly again, still hugging him.</p><p>He shook his head like a pup and heard her musical laughter close to his ears.</p><p>"Even if you have done something 오빠, try not to do it anymore okay? I will love you no matter what", she whispered, standing on her tiptoes and hugging him yet tighter. He didn't want to talk, he was crying too badly to be legible. Besides, he didn't even know what to say. He couldn't promise to stop hurting himself - it was an addiction. And he couldn't deny something his sister had voiced. He really loved her that much. This was a struggle with himself and he had wanted to fight it alone.</p><p>Maya didn't budge. She stood her ground and kept him in her arms.</p><p>"I won't let you go till you answer me", she said.</p><p>What was he to do? Fail himself and start hurting himself? Or fail her?</p><p> </p><p>Beomgyu nodded and they broke the hug. He still didn't look up at her. He had lost the pride of doing so long ago.</p><p>"Let's go 오빠 , Soobin-ssi is waiting", she said, holding his hand again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"If you say so"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i am mentioning the word '오빠' repeatedly here because it stands for 'oppa' in korean. There is something about 'oppa' being koreaboo in fandoms and i have noticed people call it cringe even though its completely normal for girls to call their brother and even their boyfriends this. I used the korean word to avoid hate comments because (i am shameless), those comments kind of make me lose motivation. ty :/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. a short interlude [7]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"WHAT? SERIOUSLY? I LOVE YOU!", Maya shrieked and rushed forward, pulling Yeonjun into a bone crushing hug. She couldn't believe her ears. Her brothers had just agreed to let her go to the Seoul carnival-</p><p>all by herself-</p><p>with her friends-</p><p>for the first time.</p><p>"TELL ME YOU AREN'T JOKING???!", she yelled into his ears, hanging from his neck and giggling like a mad woman.</p><p>"I am not joking. I am not, seriously-", he said, patting her gingerly on the head, genuinely scared of his sister's enthusiasm at the moment. Soobin interrupted.</p><p>"Ya, don't hug him so tight. His bones would break", he said gloomily, sitting in a corner of their living room.</p><p>"I HUG. I ATTACK", she yelled again and went into her room, doing a crazy ballet dance and humming to herself.</p><p> </p><p>"She is crazy", Soobin mumbled to himself and went back to reading a book again.</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. the seoul carnival - yeonbin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Come on! Tell me who's she-"</p><p>"Who is who", Soobin grunted, trying to shut the door on Yeonjun's face. That guy had been bugging him ever since the girls had left for the carnival. He thought he had a 'girlfriend'.</p><p>Seriously Yeonjun?</p><p>"Donsaeng-aahh-"</p><p>"Aegyo sucks on you hyung, now leave. Me. Alone"</p><p>"Five minutes. Just five minutes to talk. Please please -"</p><p>"EN.O. No-"</p><p>"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease", the eldest kid in the family said hanging from his door like a toddler.</p><p>Why had he been born in the first-</p><p>"pleasepleasepleaseplease"</p><p>"okay", he sighed as yeonjun dashed into his room, pushed him aside and flung himself onto his bed.</p><p>"DAYUM YOU LOOK LIKE A HANDSOME THUG ", he yelled stupidly.</p><p>"What do you want to talk about hyung?"</p><p>"You have a girlfriend. EVEN if you don't, you atleast like someone. Come on, tell me".</p><p>"I don't want to-"</p><p>"Dude, you are literally the only one who knows about Hyejin. You know how much it costs both of us to keep it a secret-"</p><p>"O I bet Ara figured it out already"</p><p>"O no she didn't. She trusts us-"</p><p>"And you are busy breaking it-"</p><p>"What's it with you?", yeonjun said narrowing his eyes.</p><p>"Nothing-"</p><p>"So back to the point, if you like someone, i would really like it if you told me first-"</p><p>"Hyung-"</p><p>"Listen bitch-"</p><p>"That's what girls call each other-"</p><p>"Then listen male bitch-"</p><p>"Dog you mean?"</p><p>"Gods, just listen. I want to surprise Hyejin-ah at the carnival. She's with Ara right?"</p><p>"Right", Soobin said almost immediately.</p><p>"You really do be on your toes for her-"</p><p>"It's nothing-"</p><p>"what did she wear today?"</p><p>"a red shirt with denim jeans-"</p><p>"see my point?"</p><p>"hyung"</p><p>"kay sorry, so as I was saying, if she is with her, I would have to separate them for a while-"</p><p>"How long?"</p><p>"Five minutes or so, not much. Basically, what I am asking is, whether you have surprised any girl before? Like...drove upto them and went like: 'BOOMBAYAH'"</p><p>Why did it feel so familiar?</p><p>Hadn't he done the exact same many a times before? That day on the rooftop? Then that day outside the library? Did he really like Maya that much?</p><p>"Yo male bitch, answer me", yeonjun whined impatiently.</p><p>"Yes I have, so?"</p><p>"SO YOU DO LIKE SOMEONE-!"</p><p>"stop yelling hyung-"</p><p>"sorry sorry. Did it work?"</p><p>"What do you mean-"</p><p>"What did you think I mean?"</p><p>"hyuung-"</p><p>"sorry sorry. was she happy or something like that? like...did she go all: THANK YOU! ICE CREAM! LET'S GO SIT SOMEWHERE!..."</p><p>Surprisingly she had.</p><p>"Yes, and?"</p><p>"Well then alright. I am going to do the same", he said smiling broadly.</p><p>"Good luck on that. Now get out of my room"</p><p>"Ya-"</p><p>"Out"</p>
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<a name="section0037"><h2>37. friendship - enjoyment</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hyejin P.O.V:</p><p>It was a weird day for the girls. Maya was still kind of new to the city, having spent not more than a year there and was buzzing with excitement seeing the smallest of things. Hyejin, on the other hand, had been to the carnival too many times to care. But she was her best friend so-</p><p>"Hyejin-ah! Did you see that lantern up there? THEY JUST PUT IT UP! CAN WE TRY ONE TOO? PLEASE!", she said clasping her arm tightly.</p><p>"okay-"</p><p>"DID YOU SEE THAT? THEY ARE SELLING THOSE HUGE ( she made some ridiculous gestures in the air) COTTON CANDY! LET'S TRY THEM TOO"</p><p>"alright", Hyejin sighed and let the girl drag her from one stall to another. If she was being completely honest, they had far more fun back home. She would usually decorate the room for her as she just sat there gaping at everything she did.</p><p>"wonderful, absolutely striking, amaaazing!", Maya would say for each redecoration and would blush furiously when she looked at her.</p><p>This was straight up b-o-r-i-n-g.</p><p>This year's carnival wasn't even that different. There were the same stalls, those same rides and almost always the same people except those freshmen and new transfer students eager to socialize. While there was a chance Park Jihoon might spot them, she was making sure they stayed to the most crowded areas and avoided large student groups.</p><p>He had a weird way of showing he loved her and she couldn't be more careful.</p><p>"HYEJIN-AH-"</p><p>"keep your voice down a notch will you?"</p><p>"Right right", Maya said suppressing excited giggles and looking childishly at everything that passed their way, "Let's play that crazy balloon shooter thing shall we? They were just not available in Gangwon. We had these really small fairs every year and there were only those merry-go-rounds and those whatdoyoucallthems and also-"</p><p>"let's just go play"</p><p>"right", she said giggling some more and dragged Hyejin to the nosiest game stall present.</p><p>The nosier, the better.</p><p>__________________</p><p>Maya P.O.V:</p><p>She pulled her best friend by the arm and ran to the shooting stall. She had never seen the likes of it before. Not that she hadn't attended fairs but really, she had been just a small town girl and now look! Those balloons were pretty as f-</p><p>Was she actually about to swear?!</p><p>This new kind of freedom was starting to get to her. What would her brothers think if she swore? After all, she wasn't even sure if they weren't tailing her in this carnival too. They could be creepy when they wanted to be.</p><p>"Ya? What are you thinking? Will be just keep standing here or something?", Hyejin mumbled beside her. It hadn't taken her long to sense the lack of enthusiasm in her friend today. But afterall, she was new to all of this so she barely noticed.</p><p>"Wait for me here! I am going to buy the tickets okay?", she said through excited giggles</p><p>"okay-"</p><p>__________________</p><p>Yeonjun P.O.V:</p><p>It was now or never.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter is all kinds of lame and I know it so don't bother blaming me. My exams are around the corner and am still writing so like...I'll have to rewrite a few chapters later I guess[?]</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. a short interlude [8]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hyejin-ah! Here! Quick!", he hissed, sneaking up behind her and patting her on the shoulders.</p><p>He watched her eyes round in surprise and smiled satisfactorily but they had no time. Ara would be coming back soon.</p><p>"What-"</p><p>"Quick! Follow me-"</p><p>"No. Maya is buying our tickets. She t-"</p><p>"Just five minutes-"</p><p>"But-"</p><p>Why was she being so persistent?</p><p>"Come on!", he said impatiently and took her hand, waving through the crowds to the staff tents. They had an empty backyard which he had spotted the previous day.</p><p>He hadn't been stalking his girlfriend, he had just been looking for somewhere private.</p><p>"Yeonjun-ah! Where are we going?", she said falling into step beside him and dodging the crowds in a frenzy.</p><p>"Somewhere private-"</p><p>"What the actualy fu-"</p><p>"You are a pervert you know that?"</p><p>"You are a creep did you know?"</p><p>"You talk like Ara-"</p><p>"You talk like that Soobin-"</p><p>"No I don't-"</p><p>"They are dating-"</p><p>"O not again", Yeonjun huffed as they turned round the tents into the back space. Hyejin somehow was pressed on making him believe his siblings were dating. Honestly...those were fanfiction stuff that she kept on blabbering, he didn't believe her.</p><p>But if he hadn't doubted it himself , he wouldn't have kept pestering soobin.</p>
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<a name="section0039"><h2>39. adrift - a maya verity [3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I GOT THE TICKETS! HYE-....jin-ah?", her voice tailed away as she came out into an empty waiting line. Had it been that late already? Where were the others? Where was Hyejin? Did she leave? Obviously she wouldn't leave without her-</p><p>they were friends-</p><p>but where was she?</p><p>She went into the gaming stall and asked the volunteer. She hadn't seen her either.</p><p>"Hyejin-ah?", she called cautiously into the passing crowd, not really expecting an answer.</p><p>"Are you sure you haven't seen anybody go this way miss?"</p><p>"I am sure", the volunteer replied with an unwavering smile plastered on her face.</p><p>"But-"</p><p>"Are you looking for someone?", a deep voice asked from behind. She turned around in a snap and cricked her neck painfully.</p><p>"OW!", she hissed crouching as pangs of pain flashed through her neck. Why did she have to embarrass herself in front of strangers every single time?</p><p>"Hey are you okay?", the person said, coming forward and holding her bags for her as she rubbed her neck in a frenzy. His voice sounded oddly familiar but she couldn't exactly place it.</p><p>"H-have we met before?"</p><p>"Of course we have! I am the new transfer student in junior year, remember? Choi Beomgyu's batchmate?", he said with a smile in his tone, handing her the bags as she looked at him.</p><p>Obviously it had to be him-</p><p>-Haruto Watanabe</p><p>-seventeen</p><p>"Beomgyu Choi did you say?"</p><p>-ace basketball player</p><p>"Yes. Do you know him too? I heard you are his sister. The guy's quite famous in our year"</p><p>-member of the art club</p><p>"O I know him alright and yes, I am"</p><p>-a singer</p><p>"You are Maya Kang right? I am Haruto"</p><p>- top of the class</p><p>- six feet two inches</p><p>- exceptionally good looking</p><p>"Haruto...? O I have never heard of you before. You must really be new here", she lied point blank to his face as they walked side by side to the shooting stall. When had they started walking anyways? Didn't he have anywhere else to be? Besides, she must be looking like shit-</p><p>(she was swearing again)</p><p>-right now. Not having seen Hyejin outside had shaken her up for a moment. Maybe the girl was trying out something else. But that unfaithful brat could have atleast given her a heads up-</p><p>Why was he looking at her like that?</p><p>Was her shirt tucked in well? Was her skirt too short? Was it too long? Was it too boring? She was becoming far too self-aware of herself as she felt his gaze on him.</p><p>Why did he have to stare like that?</p><p>"D-don't you have friends to be with now?", she asked nervously as they reached the stall.</p><p>"Oh no! I haven't made friends yet-"</p><p>"Don't tell me that's just because you are so popu-...i mean people seem to know you in school-"</p><p>"That's exactly the reason Maya", Haruto said smiling at her. She stole a look at him and noticed his right tinted smile. Fu-</p><p>(she mustn't swear)</p><p>-furiously attractive.</p><p>Did he just call her by her name? How was he being so frank? Go away.</p><p>"Do you know how to play though?", he asked curiously.</p><p>WHAT? Did she really look that dumb?</p><p>"Of course I know how to play-"</p><p>"You seem pretty nervous-"</p><p>"That's because I cannot find my friend-"</p><p>(she just had to blurt out the truth like that)</p><p>"O I am sorry. Does being alone make you nervous-"</p><p>"I never said that-"</p><p>"But you just said so-"</p><p>(the audacity)</p><p>"When mister-"</p><p>"Just now miss-"</p><p>Miss?</p><p>She was caught off guard by the joke, causing her to blink furiously.</p><p>He laughed at this.</p><p>She felt a force on her back...a weight on her shoulder as he came behind her, adjusting her grip on the toy gun.</p><p>Sir, you got no business being so close-</p><p>She tried to step aside but he held her hands, locking her in place</p><p>"Come on, be honest. You don't even know how to hold the gun properly", he mumbled close to her ear, his vanilla breath hitting her in waves. Butterflies exploded in her stomach as he stepped closer behind her, to aim at one of those ridiculously bright balloons. Fu-</p><p>(...)</p><p>eff  those butterlfies.</p><p>"You are so stiff-"</p><p>"I am not-"</p><p>"You talk back a lot Maya Kang-"</p><p>"I don't-"</p><p>"Be quiet".</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If he said so...</p>
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<a name="section0040"><h2>40. succour - a yeonjun monologue [5]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So....we had last talked...almost a week ago I guess?", Yeonjun asked, breaking the awkward silence. He had been so excited to surprise her but now her lack of enthusiasm was a major turn off. He had tried to initiate a conversation twice before already but both attempts had quickly died away. What had gotten into her suddenly? Hyejin wasn't a big talker, he knew it but she liked such little surprises, he knew it too.</p><p>"Yes, a week. But we could've have met with Maya around too you know? I don't get why you keep playing games with her", she said monotonously.</p><p>"What's that got to do with our meeting? You know I don't want my sister to know about us-"</p><p>"But why Yeonjun-ah?"</p><p>Why was she being so cross and persistent? She had never been so complicated before. Was this the reason she had made excuses to avoid meeting him all of last week?</p><p>It couldn't be. Hyejin wasn't that shallow.</p><p>"Ara deserves the happiness she is getting now. I don't want to spoil her perfect life Hyejin. Try to understand", he said, coming closer and leaning in to peck her lips. She took a step back.</p><p>"Just answer me. Why wouldn't she like it if you are dating someone whom you like? What's it with her?", she said rather rudely.</p><p>"What's it with you? Come on, its almost going to be a year we have been like this. Why do you have a problem suddenly? Besides, I thought you would be happy with me surprising you?"</p><p>"I didn't say I wasn't! I just refuse to believe my best friend could be as idiotic and babyish as you are making me believe-"</p><p>"Do not berate her in front of me. I didn't say any such thing Hyejin-ah. Don't put words in my mouth", he said irritably. He was a man of limited patience and she was testing his boundaries today. She was at perfect liberty to say anything she wanted, he had guaranteed her that much but he wouldn't tolerate a word against his sister.</p><p>"I am not putting words in your mouth, honestly. The way you put it, its as if you like her or something-"</p><p>"Don't say such a thing-"</p><p>"Then what ? There is no other reason she shouldn't know about us! She knows how to appreciate someone's secrets. I know her that much-"</p><p>"Then why don't you appreciate ours? It's not like her not knowing about us changes anything, does it? Besides, why did you just suddenly start talking about this today? What happened?"</p><p>"Nothing happened Yeonjun-ah. There had to be a time when I talked to you about this-"</p><p>"Why today-"</p><p>"Why not today? I am going and telling her about us-", she said and made to go.</p><p>"You are doing no such thing", he said, tugging at her arm a little too violently. She tripped over her shoes and fell onto the hard concrete, scraping her knee. She groaned in pain as blood oozed out of the cut and stared at her feet. His eyes rounded in shock and he dropped all pretenses of being angry. He hadn't meant to hurt her!</p><p>"H-hyejin-ah. I didn't mean to. I am sorry. I-", he mumbled kneeling beside her, trying to examine her knee but she pulled herself away from his reach. Tears welling up in her eyes.</p><p>"Don't touch me now-"</p><p>"Please-", he tried to hold her hand but even that she didn't let him do. She snatched her bag from the ground and got up, dusting dirt off her clothes.</p><p>"Where are you going? You are hurt-"</p><p>"Leave me alone. Go snog your sister will you?"</p><p>"Hyejin-ah, do not fucking talk about her like that-"</p><p>"Why not? You are no different from Park Jihoon anyways-"</p><p>"No! What makes you say that? Hyejin-ah!", he called after her and tried to hold her back but she hurried off into the crowd, leaving him stranded in the backyard of the staff tents.</p><p>He tried to call her several times after this but she didn't pick up. Neither did she answer his texts. He knew he couldn't give chase. He wouldn't find her amidst the thousands of people swarming around.</p><p>He knew he had messed up.</p>
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<a name="section0041"><h2>41. a short interlude [9]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya laughed as he put the teddy hat on her head. She had won it at the game and had watched gleefully as he lost miserably. The fluffy Koya hat, all for herself now, who wouldn't want that? She couldn't look at him with a straight face as he tried to adjust the hat on her. He was way taller than she was and the fact that she had to crane her neck to look up at him just made her crack up for some reason.</p><p>"Why are you laughing so much? Stand still so I can put the hat on you", he finally said, coming close to her and leaning down to face level, hoping she would get nervous and shut up.</p><p>The brat still wouldn't stop laughing.</p><p>"O alright then, here we go", he thrust the hat on her head and said, watching as her hair came all over her face and her laughing intensified.</p><p>"H-how do I look?", she said amidst giggles, adjusting the teddy.</p><p>"Like a koala", he said, tapping her nose with a finger. It had barely been a few minutes since they had met but he felt quite comfortable around her. A feeling which those whispering, pointing girls back at school failed to give. They were weird but this girl was weirder, which just made him like her more.</p><p>"Mind if I take a picture?"</p><p>"Okay", she said laughing and scrunched her nose pulling the hat right over her eyes.</p><p>Haruto chuckled. This girl was funny. He took a close up of her face and pulled the koya teddy back up again.</p><p>Her musical laughter and mint scent was intoxicating. He wanted to hear it a little while more and was ready to entertain her just to buy a few more minutes with her.</p><p>"Nice meeting you Ha-", she stood on tiptoes to give him a one armed hug when he saw a guy call her from behind.</p><p>"Ara! Who's that guy?", the relatively tall guy with wolf like eyes and full lips asked, coming up to them and separating her from him.</p><p>"Who are you mate? Leave her alone", Haruto said crossly but shut up when Yeonjun glared at him.</p><p>"Yeonjun-ssi, you?', she asked in surprise. She had known one of her brothers would obviously follow her here but he seemed really cross for some reason.</p><p>"Come on, let's go home-"</p><p>"But Haruto-", she looked at Haruto and saw him nod that it was okay.</p><p>But it wasn't okay.</p><p>"Later Ara", Yeonjun said with forced patience and led her away by the hand to their jeep. She wanted to argue. This had happened once before already and it was just so embarrassing.</p><p>"Yeonjun-ssi, what happened? Why are you taking me home?"</p><p>No reply. He opened the door and waited for her to get in.</p><p>"Answer me. What's wrong?"</p><p>"None of your business. Get in-"</p><p>"You just interrupted my conversation with a friend!", she said, crossing her arms indignantly.</p><p>"Seemed more than a friend to me. Now will you get in?"</p><p>"I won't until you tell me!"</p><p>"Ara"</p><p>Okay so something must have happened. What was she to do? Maya didn't want to intrude his privacy but perhaps, he could feel a little better somehow?</p><p>"yEoNjUn", she said making a face at him and saw his lips curve into a smile. He laughed, shaking his head and pointed inside the car.</p><p>Wow, that was easy she thought as she smiled back and went in.</p><p>"Do you want to go the roof and talk?", she called from the backseat while the engine revved to life.</p><p>"Would you like it if I do?", he asked as the car lurched into the highway and picked up speed.</p><p>"Yes!", Maya said happily and looked out the open window, giggling as the wind whipped hair off her face and made a whistling sound.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yeonjun adjusted the view mirror and looked at his sister admiringly yet sadly. They had to go through so much everyday for her. And she tried so hard to keep them happy and healthy. She really was worth dying for.</p><p> </p><p>"I love you Ara", he called to her sarcastically.</p><p> </p><p>"As long as I get ice cream, same", she yelled back.</p>
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<a name="section0042"><h2>42. the rooftop [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They hurried up the attic stairs in the backyard, ice creams packed carefully into a box from the downtown cafeteria and settled on the edge in silence. There wasn't really much to talk on Maya's part but she waited for him to start the conversation...which he eventually did after a good fifteen minutes of ignorant silence.</p><p>"I...had a fight with my girlfriend"</p><p>Okay...this was too personal and unexpected.</p><p>"I am not sure if you would feel comfortable after telling me this though-"</p><p>"I would don't worry"</p><p>"Go on"</p><p>"So like...she isn't answering my texts or calls for a while now, maybe around an hour and its worrying me. I think I might have hurt her-"</p><p>"Well, give her some time to heal. She will probably work things out and get back to you sooner or later okay?", Maya said, eating her corn ice cream and sitting cross legged on the edge. Yeonjun wasn't a big fan of heights so he just stood beside her, keeping an arm protectively around her shoulders.</p><p>"Physically too I mean...I...umm, met her at the carnival and she left without warning. I accidentally made her trip while holding her back. I messed up"</p><p>Oh.</p><p>"It wasn't intentional Yeonjun-ssi. Don't worry", Maya said, patting her brother's head comically. Comedy was what she turned to as the last resort when none of her comforts worked. After all...who was she to tell him everything was going to be okay? He had to solve it with his girlfriend by himself some time. But for now, her cutesy had worked and she found her brother wring his arms around her in a backhug and put his head on her shoulders with a sigh.</p><p>"You are tall",she noted bluntly.</p><p>Yeonjun chuckled in response.</p><p>His phone buzzed dully in his jeans pocket but he ignored it. Hyejin would've called after seeing his countless missed calls and numerous texts if she really cared.</p><p>He really was tired.</p><p>"Okay, maybe I love you even if you don't give me ice creams"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I know"</p>
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<a name="section0043"><h2>43. a short interlude [10]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Next morning, on their way to school Maya asked Yeonjun if he had gotten any more texts or calls from his so called 'girlfriend'. He shook his head dejectedly and kept his eyes peeled on the highway. He had university to attend later; after dropping off his siblings; and he didn't want a suddenly problematic Hyejin to cause a hindrance. He felt he had caused his sister enough troubles too. She was better off being a happy high schooler than worrying about her brothers.</p><p>"Are you sure you don't want to call her up Yeonjun-ssi? You just seemed so worried yesterday", she prodded from the backseat again. Something just didn't sit well with her. Huening and Taehyun noticed her tensed composure and tried to wave it away with their off-color jokes.</p><p>"Come on! Don't frown so much! Its his girlfriend, not yours. He will sort it out", Huening said patting her head from a side.</p><p>"Ara, smile and you get Kai's window seat back home alright?", Taehyun piped in.</p><p>"Ya! What did you just say? I am not moving-"</p><p>"You have to-"</p><p>"Taehyun-ah!"</p><p>"HUENING-AH!"</p><p>That was it. The pair started yelling and cracking up again, not paying a damn to the others' frequent looks of disgust.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When would they ever get some sense in them?</p>
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<a name="section0044"><h2>44. nix</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She couldn't help but notice the curious pairs of eyes following her down the corridors as she made her way to first. She had gotten used to her sudden popularity in the school but something about the looks she earned seemed different.</p><p>They brought back memories she had long since buried.</p><p>They seemed...accusatory.</p><p>Had word gotten out about her brothers? Were there rumors?</p><p>Maya became increasingly paranoid as she entered her class and even there she found a hoard of students clustered around her desk. They shot suspicious looks at her and scattered away when she took her seat.</p><p>Hyejin wasn't present.</p><p>"Hello! Have any of you seen Kyun Hyejin", she asked with a sweet smile but that just earned her a couple more disgusted looks before a guy shot at her,</p><p>"Come on Maya Kang. Don't be so oblivious. You must have had a clue", he spat before turning away.</p><p>"Clue about what?"</p><p>"Dude-", a girl began but their homeroom teacher arrived just then and put the class to order. He semeed rather grave as he looked at Maya before addressing the now silent classroom.</p><p> </p><p>"All students have been requested to present themselves in the school hall immediately. The headmaster shall present a short speech over the tragic demise of Kyun Hyejin. Thank you", his voice broke as he bowed and left in silence.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi ashmoons🌙 ! i hope every one of you are doing well and are studying hard for any upcoming exam. this chapter was really hard to write on my part...i hadn't originally planned on killing off Hyejin and had seriously considered changing the plot for the past few days but i guess this fits the story so much that it's too late. this book still has a long way to go, including really triggering scenarios and i hope you would support me. wishing for your absolute best,</p><p>요시</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. friendship - loss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Welcoming all students to the short prayer service by Seoul High School to pay tribute to the tragic demise of Kyun Hyejin, sixteen years old, year eleven. We kindly request the headmaster to speak a few words on our behalf", a senior teacher droned from behind the podium.</p><p>The hall immediately broke into unnecessary noise as the teacher stepped down waiting for the headmaster to arrive.</p><p>Maya stood stock-still amidst the rows of whispering and pointing students, closing down on her, giving her no space to escape. She wasn't thinking anything. Guys roughly shoved against her shoulders, girls rolled their eyes every time they caught sight of her but she wasn't bothered.</p><p>She couldn't be bothered even if she tried to. Her eyes were glued to the dais and she wanted to know how she had d-</p><p>how what had happened had happened.</p><p>The headmaster stepped onto the podium, clearing his throat and the hall dipped into silence.</p><p>"We, the students and staff of the prestigious Seoul High School-</p><p>(did they really have to say that everytime?)</p><p>"-are gathered here to address the tragic-</p><p>(why the word tragic? She must have di-...what had happened might have happened far less tragically than they were making her believe)</p><p>"-loss of one of our most prized students-</p><p>(hadn't been so the day she had been abused into unconsciousness by that Park Jihoon)</p><p>"Kyun Hyejin. As has been reported, the beautiful, intelligent girl had been sexually assaulted and brutally murdered by a youth or youths unknown. Last seen in the company of one of her friends, Kang Maya of this very school, she had been spotted leaving the Seoul Carnival in tears an a bleeding knee. Investigation is being continued and all students are requested to be on high alert for their own safety. While such losses are increasing at an inhumane rate all over the county, we feel nothing but deep sorrow-"</p><p>What was he saying? He was lying to the whole school, right in front of her. Nothing of that sort could have happened to her friend.</p><p>"- for our student's passing away. She was a talented girl and held potential beyond anybody's imagination and was known among her classmates-"</p><p>She had been with her till before the game and she wasn't hurt, nor had she been crying. They were straight up lying to her . Cold beads of sweat trickled down her face as their words sank in.</p><p>"-as a kind hearted and pure soul, always ready to help anybody who asked-"</p><p>Her friend...that lively young girl she had seen just yesterday was no more.</p><p>"-authorities are contacting the school council and the government-"</p><p>And worse, they thought she was the reason Hyejin had ran away from the carnival. They were blaming her for her dea-</p><p>for her-</p><p>She couldn't think. Her breath hitched as she struggled to support herself and she found herself constantly breaking into cold sweats. She wasn't hurt. She was angry.</p><p>"-for any suspects within the school premises responsible for the absolutely inhuman sexual assault meted upon the pure girl-"</p><p>Why was the headmaster lying?</p><p>"STOP! JUST...STOP!", she yelled before she could control herself and swayed on the spot. The headmaster blinked, halting mid speech as heads turned towards her miserable state, girls scoffed around her and the guys kept pointing, staring wide eyed and snickering. Words like 'drama', 'put up' and 'show' drifted from the gathering crowd towards her. No one came forward. Not a single pair of light green eyes with a freckled face framed in a curtain of dark brown hair came to her.</p><p> </p><p>Those eyes; that she slowly realized, feeling increasingly dizzy from the adrenaline rush,  she would never see again.</p>
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<a name="section0046"><h2>46. a short interlude [11]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haruto stood behind some of Park Jihoon's most devoted crones and clenched his fists as they smirked, throwing knowing glances at him between the headmaster's speech. His chin was heavily bruised and he had a mild concussion in his head but he knew very well physical injury wasn't the reason for his headache.</p><p>Their ignorance sickened him.</p><p>Their disguise made his temple throb.</p><p>His guilt made him want to die.</p><p> </p><p>All of them...including him knew they could have stopped what had happened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And for that matter, Choi Beomgyu knew it too.</p>
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<a name="section0047"><h2>47. solus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya walked out of the hall, took her bag and strode out of the school, not intending to stop anytime soon. She was shaken up. She felt paralyzed.</p><p>She felt lost. Nothing seemed to make sense and she knew very well that those people, those people who were busy blaming her for what had happened, had never cared when Hyejin was alive and didn't bother doing so now that she was gone. What was the point staying amidst them? She couldn't stand the tension.</p><p>The accusations were making her anxious.</p><p>She had never felt anything so intense before. Her hands still shivered, her lips quivered and sweat still trickled down her face as she walked, as fast as her legs could carry, out of the school premises.</p><p>"Ara! Wait!", a familiar voice called behind her but she didn't stop. No one felt welcoming now. Everybody seemed to be against her.</p><p>In fact...hadn't he been the one who had stopped her from talking to Hyejin that day? The very first day they had met...hadn't he been the one to be so ignorant and spiteful to have interrupted his sister's only ever chance of making a proper friend?</p><p>Choi Soobin had no business following her like this.</p><p>"Ara, I said wait-", he hissed, catching up with her in the parking lot and getting hold of her hand, "where do you think you are going?"</p><p>She stubbornly looked away, not bothering to answer and tried to wrench her hand free from his hold. But it didn't work. He was too strong.</p><p>"Let me go", she mumbled in barely more than a whisper. Her voice cracked out of her constant efforts of trying not to cry. She had to be alone for some time and didn't know how longer she could hold back.</p><p>"Ara-"</p><p>"Leave me alone! LEA-", she was about to yell when he tugged at her arm, turned her around and pulled her into a bone crushing hug. Her face collided with his chest as she felt his hand hold her head in place and another arm wrung around her waist in a secure grip. She tried to wriggle free again but his grip just tightened. He rested his chin on her head, combing a hand through her long, smooth hair.</p><p>"Don't move. Just...calm down. Then we can go anywhere you want okay?", he whispered near her ear, kissing her forehead softly as she closed her eyes tight, trying to stop bitter angry tears from falling. It didn't help. Her efforts just made her throat ache.</p><p>She let go.</p><p>The emotional ordeal was too much to take. Maya cried as loudly as she could, fists clenching in Soobin's shirt as he held her protectively, lifting her slightly off the ground and making her stand on his toes. She was convulsing too much out of pain. Her sobs made his heart ache but he knew he couldn't do anything. There was nothing he could say to comfort her.</p><p>He wondered how Yeonjun must be feeling at the moment while he held her in his arms, combing his fingers through her hair, trying his best to mete out whatever support he could, knowing it was barely enough. Her hold on his shirt tightened as she tried to control her unstoppable tears.</p><p>"Hush...it will be alright", he mumbled against her ear helplessly. There wasn't anything he could do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maya was at solus in this.</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. succour - a yeonjun monologue [6]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He whimpered in pain, sitting cross-legged against the door of his room.</p><p>Drops of tears fell on the polaroid of her, clasped tightly in his hands as he shook violently out of rage. He knew who could have done it. He knew who would have done it.</p><p>He knew nothing would have happened if only he had stopped her.</p><p> The guilt was overwhelming.</p><p>He yelled into his empty desolate room as the last slanting rays of the evening sun fell on him.</p>
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<a name="section0049"><h2>49. a short interlude [12]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haruto saw her break away from the crowd and followed her out of the hall. She was looking really shaken up so he wanted to give any amount of support he could...though they barely even knew each other. He saw her take her bag from the class and hurry off outside the school.</p><p>He made to follow her out again when a tall guy with pitch black hair ran behind her, calling her name, the same name that Yeonjun guy had called her with. Was he her sibling-</p><p>He crept up behind them in the parking lot and saw them hugging each other.</p><p>-or were they dating...</p><p>He saw the guy break the hug, lead Maya into what was apparently his jeep and drive out.</p><p>He wanted to talk to her and be there for her...anything to mend his mistake.</p><p> </p><p>That left him with no other option.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He got into his black convertible and gave chase.</p>
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<a name="section0050"><h2>50. rancour - a soobin monologue [4]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had luckily borrowed the car keys from Yeonjun before he had left for university and now found himself driving out of the city to the Han river again. Maya sat with her feet raised in the backseat, head laying against the window glass, looking quietly out into the highway. She was unnaturally quiet but few tears still made their way down her cheeks occasionally. There was still no way he could give her comfort. This had been a really serious blow and he just wanted to be there for her...so that she knew she wasn't alone. They had always made sure their sister had the best of things, was never short of happy and was always surrounded by the happiest versions of themselves. What did he have to offer now? Nothing. He was useless when faced with a grave problem. He regretted not letting Beomgyu drive her out of school. That guy understood Maya the best but he just seemed so lost in his own world th-</p><p>"Soobin-ssi...", she mumbled from her seat.</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I don't think I deserve to live...", he saw another tear fall from her chin and controlled the urge to drop everything and wrap her in his arms again.</p><p>"What makes you say that?"</p><p>"Nobody loves me"</p><p>The car skidded to a halt outside the library backyard. She clearly wasn't thinking straight. He hopped off and opened the door to the backseat. She didn't react as her head drooped onto his shoulder and he caressed her cheek. Maya leaned into his palm but didn't say anything. Her eyes were unfocused and appeared rather...dead. What was he even thinking?</p><p>"Ya...Ara. Let's take a walk okay? Everything will get better soon. Don't be like this please".</p><p>Silence.</p><p>"Ara-"</p><p>"Maya Kang! Is that you?"</p><p>A guy, quite his height with thick eyebrows and a square jaw came running their way, looking worried. He stopped beside Soobin and looked questioningly at her head on his shoulder.</p><p>"Maya Kang...?", he repeated as she looked up at him, wide-eyed but tired.</p><p>"What are you doing here?", she asked getting out of the car and facing the guy. The way she looked at that guy was strangely making him nervous.</p><p>Soobin didn't understand. What was the newbie junior student doing here? He had seen his face a couple of times before in school but couldn't place his name.</p><p>"I-...I followed you both. I am sorry. Can we talk please?"</p><p>"Ha-"</p><p>"Sorry but she needs some space", he said shortly and took Maya's hand to lead her away but he stopped her by the arm.</p><p>"Please...?"</p><p>For reasons unknown, Soobin found himself praying that she said no.</p><p>"Okay-", she said taking her hand away from his and standing beside the guy.</p><p>What?</p><p>"Ara, you need some time-"</p><p>"Hey man. I don't know who you are but I will drop her home safe. Okay?", he said smiling and turned her away by her shoulders.</p><p>She remained silent and let him steer her towards his black convertible.</p><p>Soobin refused to understand. She barely knew that dude, how was she bent on spending time with him when he was there?</p><p>"Ara what's happening? I don't-"</p><p>"He said he would drop me home Soobin-ssi. Go back please"</p>
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<a name="section0051"><h2>51. novelty - a haruto monologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You have been here before?", he asked her, stepping a little closer to her side. They stood outside the ice rink and he couldn't help but notice the deja vu etched on Maya's face. This was considered a...couple activity, she must have had boyfriends in the past or something, she was quite popular too. But it didn't matter. He would try his best to give her happiness and get closer to her, day by day at first then moment by moment. He didn't know what had drawn him to her so much. He wasn't really extraordinary or splendid. There were prettier girls around and perhaps, better ones too but there was something about her-</p><p>"I have", she said shortly and walked in a slow trance towards the benches and stands.</p><p>She wasn't okay.</p><p>"Hey Maya Kang...mind if we-"</p><p>She turned to look up at him and his heart skipped a few beats. He hadn't been prepared to meet her shocking blue eyes; even though they seemed to have lost their lustre presently. He was sure he would be able to return them their shine one day, his feelings had to be worth something after all.</p><p>"You were saying something?"</p><p>"Uh-yeah. Mind if we...I mean...only if you are comfortable...hold hands?"</p><p>She smiled a slow smile and looked ahead but her hand slipped into his and intertwined their fingers together.</p><p>So she didn't mind.</p><p>He swelled with happiness inside but didn't show it. He understood her feelings and didn't want to nullify them with the little flutters of his adolescence. This was so stupid of him.</p><p>And yet...</p><p>He couldn't help but find happiness in every single thing she did; in every single moment they spent together. This was a welcome change. To finally be in someone's company he wasn't afraid of was something he had never dreamt would be possible. Yet here they were.</p><p>No Park Jihoon nagging him to be the 'bad guy'. No Park Jihoon's crones trying to convince him that he was already one.</p><p>They reached the stands with the skates lined up in racks and he saw her look at their blades curiously. Almost...hungrily.</p><p>His eyes widened as she made to stroke a finger against their surface.</p><p>She clearly wasn't okay.</p><p>Haruto clasped both her hands in his, wrung an arm around her shoulder and led her to the benches. She had just been about to draw blood out of herself, wasn't she feeling anything at ALL?</p><p>"Y-you wait here while I bring the skates okay? I'll be right back", he said, stroking her cheeks instinctively and hurrying off. He kept stealing glances at her as he rented a pair but she wasn't moving. Her shoulders were slouched, her head cocked to a side and she was staring blankly at the people inside the rink. How could he give her comfort when she herself was being so resistant. She had to come out of her shock.</p><p>Her gaze shifted to the skates as he bent down on a knee helping her into them. Maya wasn't reacting at all. Her feet moved readily into the skates and dangled off the bench as he wore his but she didn't show any change of expression. Was he forcing her into skating? He couldn't be too sure. Her lack of interest was starting to unnerve him.</p><p>"I-if you don't want to skate-"</p><p>"I am okay"</p><p>"We really could just drive around-"</p><p> </p><p>Silence.</p>
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<a name="section0052"><h2>52. first love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Haruto held her hand loosely as they glided across the rink, neither talking or initiating a conversation. She was an an amateur at skating and it became quite obvious in the way she moved step by step on her own and panicked when he let go. She was expressionless alright but the way her eyes rounded and her small hands reached for his shirt whenever he let go was amusing.</p><p>He tried it again.</p><p>This time she flapped her arms a little before getting hold of his hand and skating straight into his arms. They glided back slowly like this and made a full circle of the arena with her face hidden in his school sweater and hand holding his raised forearm. Her scent was intoxicating and her breath near his collar gave him-</p><p>-what did those girls say?</p><p>- butterflies. There was just no other way to put it. He felt dizzy and slightly unbalanced whenever she came near. He had never felt like this and even though it caused him some effort to resist the urge to kiss, he couldn't help but try his best to keep her near to him. Haruto didn't immediately let go when they finished their round and pushed her head back on his chest when she made to break away.</p><p>Did she just giggle at him?</p><p>The sound of her little laugh was musical, making his heart flutter, his cheeks getting dangerously warm as realization hit him.</p><p>"D-did you just...laugh?", he asked against her ears as she held on to his arm.</p><p>Maya nodded childishly and looked up at him.</p><p>He didn't know if he should smile. She was still shocked and sad by her loss but...he noticed as her gaze locked with his...some of the lustre in those beautiful blue eyes was slowly coming back.</p><p>Cute.</p><p> </p><p>He let out a chuckle before letting go again and watched with glee as the girl flapped like a penguin and started taking small steps towards him.</p>
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<a name="section0053"><h2>53. a short interlude [13]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin watched from his window as the guy helped her out of the car and heard their laughter as he shared a joke with her.</p><p>Seeing them together wasn't exactly infuriating.</p><p>He felt incompetent.</p><p>Was he really that incapable of making her happy...finding her some sort of happiness?</p><p>Maybe he was, he didn't know.</p><p>His fists clenched involuntarily as he stroked her cheek making her smile up at him.</p><p>He didn't want to see her with that guy...even though it was impossible to reason with himself.</p><p> </p><p>He was supposed to be her brother.</p><p> </p><p>He absolutely wasn't supposed to feel these hurtful pangs of sadness and jealousy that filled himself now.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>What had he gotten himself into?</p>
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<a name="section0054"><h2>54. struggle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[the same night]</p><p>She first felt herself losing control when the glass fell from the bedside table and shattered noisily. She hadn't been able to hold it straight. Her fingers shook terribly as she tried to pick the shards of broken glass in the semi darkness of the room. Her whole frame quivered as she groped around on the floor to clear the mess. Her fingertips struck the broken pieces and drew blood but she didn't feel anything.</p><p>Her eyesight slowly turned blurry and her breath stuck in her throat as she tried to get up. She had to get help somehow but no voice came out. Her mouth felt dry and her chest ached the more she tried to draw out a scream.</p><p>Darkness closed in on her before she fell headlong over the glass, pain stinging through her arm; driving her into unconsciousness.</p>
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<a name="section0055"><h2>55. guilt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin and that guy...Haruto (had he said?) waited alongside the others as the lights switched on over the ICU.</p><p>Yeonjun couldn't take anymore. He really couldn't. Seeing the nurses take their sister on a stretcher through those cursed double doors had shaken him too badly to stand straight. He collapsed onto the hospital floor and remained there, head between his knees, arms crossed over head in remorse. What wouldn't he give to right his mistakes from the day before and live again.</p><p>Everything was shattering around him and there was nothing he could do about it.</p><p>"Hyung, the doctor's out", Soobin called him and ran towards the middle-aged man. He didn't have the drive to do anything. He stared at the people who stared back just as curiously at him. He knew he was out of place but there was nothing he could do about it.</p><p>Absolutely nothing.</p><p>"Hyung...Ara had a minor panic attack. She is coming out. Don't wor- Hyung?", Soobin said crouching beside him wringing a supportive arm around his shoulders, and trying to make him get up. He couldn't get up. His legs felt like jelly. His chest felt increasingly empty with each passing minute as his mind registered the loss he had suffered. He couldn't move and there was nothing he could do about it.</p><p>Nothing.</p>
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<a name="section0056"><h2>56. acceptance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya balanced herself on the nurse before coming out of the ICU, arms heavily bandaged, a mild concussion at the back of her head and was barely able to register the sight before her - yeonjun backed against the wall, crouching helplessly in soobin's arms, huening and taehyun looking desolately yet round-eyed at her, Beomgyu staring at nothing in particular but seemingly angry -  when someone rushed forward, yelling out profanities and wrapped her gingerly in his arms, hiding his face in her curtain of unkempt hair.</p><p>"Thank god you are fine. I was so fucking worried", a familiar voice croaked near her ear and her eyes widened in recognition.</p><p>"H-haruto?", she managed to say before he planted a chaste kiss on her cheek and touched their foreheads together.</p><p>"I was so fucking worried Maya Kang", he repeated, cupping her face softly, breathing heavily,= yet not daring to make eye contact.</p><p>Things rushed back to her in waves as he held her and she swayed slightly on the spot.</p><p>"Maya..."</p><p>Hyejin was no more.</p><p>She really was no more.</p><p>She had left her alone here and gone somewhere she didn't deserve to be. She was needed here.</p><p>But she would never-</p><p>She walked past him as he released her and saw Soobin, now standing up, throwing looks of distaste at Haruto before coming forward and caressing her cheek. He tipped her chin up and made her look at him.</p><p>His hazelnut eyes full of concern scrutinizing her face as she stared back.</p><p>-ever come back again.</p><p>"Are you okay?", he asked in barely more than a whisper, barely breaking eye contact as he steered her toward the exit, away from Haruto.</p><p>Maya didn't say anything.</p><p>Hyejin was d-</p><p>(she couldn't bring herself to say it)</p><p>-her friend really was-</p><p>(she refused to acknowledge it)</p><p>She didn't know what to say. She couldn't feel anything neither did she want to.</p><p>She just wanted to go home.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kyun Hyejin was dead.</p>
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<a name="section0057"><h2>57. love [?]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[maya had to take leave from school for over a month due to mental health issues]</p><p>[wt. hto &amp; k.my over the month]</p><p>Haruto: Is this Maya Kang I am talking to?</p><p>Maya: ?</p><p>Haruto: O! hi i am haruto. i got your number off the registration pamphlet in the head master's office. i had duty there today after fifth and i saw your name on his desk which seriously interested me, i had no other intentions but it had your number on it so i couldn't help myself.</p><p>Maya: ...</p><p>_____________</p><p>Maya: Thank you for helping me with homework today. My brothers were glad to have you home :)</p><p>Haruto: Except that Soobin Choi. He probably doesn't like me.</p><p>Maya: Well he is just like that. He doesn't like anyone</p><p>Haruto: Are you sure?</p><p>_____________</p><p>Haruto: I am sorry I had to leave early today. Beomgyu and I have practice.</p><p>Maya: You both are weird. You didn't even have practice till my brother pointed it out.</p><p>Haruto: People can forget things</p><p>_____________</p><p>Haruto: Did we just sneak out of your home at midnight? Maya Kang, the things you make me do.</p><p>Maya: Why did you even come outside my house if you didn't want me to come out?</p><p>Haruto: I just wanted to see you :)</p><p>Maya: ....</p><p>_____________</p><p>Maya: How was school today Haruto? I heard Beomgyu-ssi and you had a fight?</p><p>Haruto: Who tells you these stuff?</p><p>Maya: I have four brothers still attending Seoul High?</p><p>Haruto:  Beomgyu and I are good okay? We didn't fight.</p><p>_____________</p><p>Haruto: Maya Kang! I see you are home alone!</p><p>Maya: You creep-</p><p>Haruto: I have been hiding in these bushes for the past one hour. I even cut myself. Don't call me that!</p><p>Maya: O alright creep-</p><p>Haruto: Don't!</p><p>Maya: Come over. I'll put some band-aids.</p><p>_____________</p><p>Maya: Did you just say-</p><p>Haruto: I like you. Yes, and?</p><p>Maya: What the f-</p><p>Haruto: Your brothers wouldn't like you swearing Maya Kang-</p><p>Maya: I hate you-</p><p>Haruto: You don't</p><p>_____________</p><p>Maya: Don't come within a mile radius of me. We are not dating-!</p><p>Haruto: Taking into consideration our date at the library-</p><p>Maya: You call that a date? I just wanted to read!</p><p>Haruto: Hypothetically I took you out for a date. Gave you ice cream, nearly kissed you-</p><p>Maya: You tripped on your shoes. I saw it</p><p>_____________</p><p>Maya: So we are...girl-thing boy-thing now?</p><p>Haruto: The what now?</p><p>Maya: You are so clueless-</p><p>Haruto: Go on say it.</p><p>Maya: No.</p><p>_____________</p><p>Maya: Who the fu-</p><p>Haruto: Calm down Maya Kang. No swearing-</p><p>Maya: Shut the fuck up! Who the frick frack tic tac patty wack snick snack quarterback big mac heart attack race track double backed guy named jack was that nasty bitch of a girl-</p><p>Haruto: I am telling your brothers you just swore :)</p><p>Maya: Ya wait!</p><p>Haruto: :)</p><p>Maya: I said...WAIT!</p><p>[end]</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. novelty - a haruto monologue [2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Maya is coming to school today", he said beaming to anybody who would listen as he waited near the school parking lot, eyes peeled for the jet black jeep in the driveway.</p><p>"Are you and Kang Maya dating?", guys in his year called out as they passed the school gates and he smiled dorkily at them. He didn't know why he was so excited today. They had spent a lot of time together over the past one month and somewhere in the middle, had started dating. Her coming to school would just add another six hours of seeing each other but apart from that nothing-</p><p>She had arrived.</p><p>Perhaps his excitement spoke for itself.</p><p>His palms grew sweaty as the jeep pulled into the parking lot and he saw her alight with her brothers, looking as nervous and tense as he felt.</p><p>But now she was here so all he had to do was say something smart to win her brothers over. They seemed to hate him for some reason...they were weird.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Ya! Chicken Noodle Soup!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. school</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>What did you just call me?</em>", she said through gritted teeth walking up to him, color rising in her cheeks. This absolutely <em>wasn't </em>the first thing she had wanted to hear on her day back. Haruto chuckled mischievously , wringing their fingers together and led her through the gates to class, leaving her brothers standing by their jeep, blinking stupidly.</p><p>"So umm...I'll see you around later?", he said near the door, leaning down to kiss her cheek. People gasped audibly as they passed their way, senior students laughed seeing them together but something had obviously changed again. Their laughter wasn't mocking or jeering, rather just fun . She blushed as he laughed too in his deep, out of the world voice and rushed into the classroom.</p><p>
  <em>Chicken noodle soup .</em>
</p><p>Maya could see a definite change in how students saw her today. She couldn't help it if how others looked at her mattered more than how she looked at herself. It was her weakness and there was no coming out of it.</p><p>"Welcome back Maya", said the same guy who had called her clueless a couple of weeks ago. Few girls waved at her as she took her seat.</p><p>"Is it true you both are dating?!", a girl shrieked taking the now empty seat beside her.</p><p>
  <em>Hyejin</em>
  <em> used to sit there.</em>
</p><p>"I guess we are", she said rather crossly and turned away from the gasping crowd of students. She couldn't tell the girl to go away, that would be rude but it was still...<em>her</em> seat. She put her head down and tried to concentrate on the birds chirping outside the window which just turned out be of no good. The light was blinding causing her eyes to water.</p><p>A couple more meaningless gasps issued from the students behind her as someone shut the blinds over the window.</p><p>"Is it okay now?", the person said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear and crouching to make eye contact.</p><p>
  <em>What the hell was he doing in her classroom-</em>
</p><p>"Go away. You are embarrassing me"</p><p>"I am not-"</p><p>"You are-"</p><p>"Ara-"</p><p>"<em>Don't </em>call me that in front of them-"</p><p>"Listen-! Can we eat lunch together?"</p><p><em>He really </em>was<em> weird.</em></p><p>"What for-"</p><p>"O nothing. Is it a yes or no?"</p><p>"I d-"</p><p>"Soobin Choi! Get back to your class. Now!", their homeroom teacher yelled across the classroom startling the pair.</p><p>"Bye Maya Kang! See you", he said  matter-of-factly, flashing a smile at her before waving at her and going out.<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p>The warmth rising to her cheeks had  absolutely <em>nothing </em>to do with her brother smiling at her like that. It was just the heat of the day.<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/></p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. little things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>The classes before recess passed in a flurry and Maya found herself being bombarded with questions around her seat.</p><p>"Do you know Soobin Choi?"</p><p>"Are you cheating on Haruto?"</p><p>"Is he your ex?"</p><p>"Is he using you?"</p><p>"Are you his ex?"</p><p>"Is he the obsessive boyfriend Maya Kang?"</p><p>"Are you using Haruto to get back at h-"</p><p>"Using me for <em>what</em>?", his deep voice sounded from behind the pestering girls and they scattered to let him pass. It was true her popularity and image had dipped after the incident but it appeared that it took a panic attack, a hurt arm and a concussed head to gain their sympathy again. Haruto on the other hand, seemed only to have earned more devotion from those desperate girls after word got out he was visiting her frequently.</p><p>
  <em>So much for being his girl-thing.</em>
</p><p>"Using me for what?", he repeated, right tinted smile firm in place unshifting gaze locked on Maya. The others didn't dare talk back and went their own way leaving the classroom empty.</p><p> He sat on Hyejin's desk,one leg over the other, arm resting on the back of the chair in that lazy fashion of his, and cocked his head at her, still smiling.</p><p>"You look stupid when you keep smiling like that", Maya said, putting her head down and looking at him.</p><p>"I can't help but smile around you"</p><p>"Stop doing this"</p><p>"Stop doing what Maya Kang?"</p><p>"You know very well what I mean. <em>Stop </em>being so...", it sounded stupid even in her own head but it was true, "perfect", she finished lamely and heard him chuckle. The afternoon sun threw his features into perfect relief. His thick eyebrows over those deep hooded eyes, that crooked smile over the lifted chin. He was per-</p><p>"Perfect? I am far from perfect Maya Kang-"</p><p>"And this too!"</p><p>"What-"</p><p>"The way you say my name every time...its unsettling"</p><p>"Flattering you mean? Come on, give me my compliments", Haruto drew a thumb over her chin and said.</p><p>"Whatever".</p><p>
  <em>That familiar warmth rose up her cheeks, making her blush furiously.</em>
</p><p>She made to turn her head away but a hand slipped behind her neck and held it in place.</p><p>"Don't always turn your face like that. I want to see you", he said, a pensive expression overshadowing his face. He wasn't smiling anymore and rather appeared to be scrutinizing her.</p><p>"What-"</p><p>"Hush", he stroked her blushing cheeks and came closer.</p><p>
  <em>His silence was unnerving.<br/>
</em>
</p><p>He leaned in until their foreheads touched, the tip of their noses brushing against each other.</p><p>"Woah, you got the ugliest freckles I have <em>ever </em>seen Maya Kang-"</p><p>"What the actual-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"ChicKeN nOoDlE sOuP", he said between giggles as she chased him out of the classroom, lunch with soobin at the cafeteria completely driven out of her mind</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am hating this so much. The last 20 or so chapters have to be the wOrsT i have ever written, some one save me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. the last</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>They ran off down the corridors and stopped only when Maya said she couldn't give chase anymore. They were behind the school cafeteria and Haruto watched with amusement while she supported herself on the wall huffing dramatically.</p><p>"You are a drama queen"</p><p>"I am?! You fu-"</p><p>"No swearing"</p><p>"I know i know. I thought-"</p><p>"Your cheeks look funny right now-"</p><p>"I was <em>saying</em>-"</p><p>"I love the way your hair comes off your ponytail everytime you rush-"</p><p>"Shut up for once will you?! I thought that you would...", her voice tailed away as she realized what she had been about to say. He cocked his head to the right and gave her a funny look.</p><p>"Yes...?"</p><p>"Nothing. Nothing, o whatever. I thought you would give me a compliment or- or something", she said, growing absolutely fidgety. She just <em>had </em>to make the situation awkward for herself.</p><p>An amused look flashed across Haruto's face but he didn't say anything. Taking slow, measured steps towards her, his left arm slipped into her waist and he pushed her a little to the wall. There wasn't anybody around and he felt quiet courageous. She looked up at him wide-eyed.</p><p>Maya had never been in such a situation before. Hell, she had never even liked anyone before and was clueless about anything right now.</p><p>His right hand moved behind her neck, tugging her closer to him.</p><p>Butterflies exploded in her stomach as his vanilla breath hit him, making her light headed.</p><p>She couldn't breath.</p><p>He moved closer until their shoes almost touched and bent low, brushing their noses together. Haruto chuckled amusedly as color rose to her cheeks and grazed his lips against her skin.</p><p>
  <em>Which part of not coming within a mile radius of her hadn't he understood?</em>
</p><p>She closed her eyes tightly shut as his lips met hers, him still chuckling into her lips and her standing as still as a person could get, hands clenched into fists as he deepened the kiss.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Beomgyu P.O.V:</b>
</p><p>
  <em>He really had the audacity to do that.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. incertitude - a beomgyu ambivalence [4]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He waited till the bastard broke the kiss and his sister rushed away into the cafeteria.</p><p>He was okay with them dating but he had thought Haruto Watanabe would have the fucking decency to stay away from his sister after what he had done.</p><p>
  <b>***FLASHBACK***</b>
</p><p>
  <em>"Did any of you see Hyejin running off outside?", Park Jihoon said with forced patience from inside his car, well hidden behind the carnival wasteland. The others stood outside looking nervously at him; Beomgyu amongst them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I FUCKING ASKED SOMETHING! DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SEE-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Y-yes we did. B-but n-not outside. Yeonjun Choi separated her from my sister-", Beomgyu said out of nerves. He didn't know why he was still meeting Park Jihoon. He hadn't wanted to. He had just come to the carnival to spend some time alone. Yet here he was.</em>
</p><p>The company of known faces had been irresistible. </p><p><em>"The fuck, you are telling me this </em>now?<em>", the guy said from inside his car, spitting near Beomgyu's shoes. He stepped back in disgust.</em></p><p>
  <em>"ANSWER ME"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I-I saw them just-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Where are they now?", he asked another one of his faithful crones<br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"In the backspace of the st-staff tents Jihoon Park", came an immediate reply.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bring her to me somehow", Jihoon said, lighting himself a cigarette and throwing the match angrily at Beomgyu. It struck his arm making him groan in reflex.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Look at that cocksucker", he said snickering as the others laughed around him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He couldn't take anymore and made to run away when Jihoon's crones shoved him to the ground, scraping his palm and making him bleed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"L-let me go-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Bring Haruto to me", the fucker said, ignoring him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I SAID LET ME-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I find your sister kind of attractive mate. You know what's going to happen to her if Hyejin doesn't reach me"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He couldn't believe his ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Saying nothing more, he rushed out of the wasteland and hurried off into the carnival. He had to stop that Haruto from reaching his sister somehow. He had messed up. His arms ached from their numerous cuts as he pushed through the crowd searching for her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He was losing control of his nerves the deeper he got into the mass of buzzing, excited people and reached his limit when he saw him with Maya. Had word gotten to him already? He was about to break them apart when Yeonjun came toward the pair, dragged her to their car and left the guy standing alone.</em>
</p><p>It was now or never. He had to do something.</p><p>
  <em>He ran to that imbecile and planted a punch squarely at his jaw. Haruto fell to the ground, surprised by the attack and looked wide eyed at him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Beomgyu Choi what-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Stay away from my sister fucker. what did jihoon ask you to do-", he said through gritted teeth, angry tears welling up in his eyes, arms shaking out of the numerous cuts it had suffered and the sudden impact with Haruto's jaw.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Calm down mate, Jihoon just called me to him right now. I don't know what-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know exactly what am talking about", he sat across him, fisting his hands into the imbecile's collar. <br/></em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Beomgyu...i just met your sister, i don't-", blood rushed out of his nose as another fist collided with his face, making him wretch.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"TELL ME!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Beomgyu listen-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He shook Haruto's collar, not letting the other speak. Beomgyu was about to punch him again when he caught his arm in a forceful grip.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Dude...I don't know what's got into you suddenly but-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Park Jihoon has got Hyejin do you know that?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Realization dawned on the other's face and he made to get up but he forced him to the ground, making his head hit the concrete hard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TOUCH MY SISTER-"</em>
</p><p><em>"Listen. We have to stop Jihoon from taking Hyejin somehow! I don't know anything about your sister. </em>We. Have. To. Save. Her", <em>Haruto said one last time and ran in the direction of the wasteland pushing him aside.</em></p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu gave chase and stopped in horror as he saw the empty space, bearing a couple of tire tracks towards the highway.</em>
</p><p>"He got away".</p><p>
  <b>***END OF FLASHBACK***</b>
</p><p>It was easier blaming someone else for what he had done than blaming himself. His life was in ruins and he wasn't thinking straight yet still...</p><p>He had thought Haruto would have had the sense to stay away from his sister, knowing how much danger he was putting her into.</p><p>
  <em>He was related to that fucking rapist.</em>
</p><p>"Haruto...did you just kiss my sister?", he called, stepping out of hiding.</p><p>"I just did", the other said happily.</p><p>
  <em>He was happy?</em>
</p><p>"Do you have a fucking clue what you are doing to her?"</p><p>"What mate?"</p><p>"DON'T CALL ME TH-"</p><p>"Hey calm down, we are still inside school-"</p><p>"I don't fucking care"</p><p>"What's your problem?"</p><p>"Stay the fuck away from my sister"</p><p>Haruto's jaw clenched. He took a step toward him, dropping all pretense of having a calm demeanor. </p><p>"She is my fucking girlfriend. I can't do that", he said firmly.</p><p>"Seriously? Do you have any clue that Jihoon knows you are dating her?"</p><p>"So <em>what</em>? I don't follow him around anymore. This has nothing to-"</p><p>"This has <em>everything </em>to do with her. Ever thought what he would do to your <em>girlfriend </em>once he gets hold of her?"</p><p>"Why would he-"</p><p>"Because you don't follow him around anymore! Are you kidding me?"</p><p>"Beomgyu Choi I-"</p><p>
  <em>What the hell was that fucker crying for.</em>
</p><p>"Don't fucking shred crocodile tears in front of me-"</p><p>"You don't understand. I <em>love </em>her. I really do. I-"</p><p>"Stay. Away. From. Maya. Kang"</p><p>"I can't"</p><p>"Stay away or Yeonjun gets to know about you. About how you had <em>been </em>there that night. He gets to know everything-"</p><p>"I had tried to <em>stop </em>him-"</p><p>"And you could have if...as some of them are saying...you hadn't wanted her to die in the first place-"</p><p>"Beomgyu what-"</p><p>"You thought I wouldn't know about your insane obsession with Jihoon did you?"</p><p>"I was scared-!"</p><p>"Scared of <em>what-"</em></p><p>"H-he would have come for me-"</p><p>"I would have rather died than let a girl get raped in front of me".</p><p>"Beomgyu Choi, please. I can't live without Maya-"</p><p>There were tears in Haruto's eyes as he clasped Beomgyu's hands, begging.</p><p>"Stay away or I am telling Yeonjun"</p><p>"Please-"</p><p>"Yes or no?"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Okay"</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the next few weeks in school Haruto ignored Maya as much as he could. Changing corridors whenever she came near, making forced small talks whenever she tried to strike a conversation and steering clear of their house altogether. She didn't understand what was going on. There must have been something that had changed him so drastically yet he seemed so normal around his friends but awkward around her. He laughed and made jokes and what not around his folks but became quiet and dull when she came near. He spared other girls a glance whenever they bothered saying 'hi' but averted his gaze if she tried to talk.</p><p>It wasn't normal.</p><p>It took her several sleepless nights spent in tears, desperately looking at her phone for his messages to realize what had happened.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>They had broken up.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. a short interlude [14]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>***end of year***</b>
</p><p>Maya couldn't help but feel the deja vu coming over in waves as she crossed the busy carnival gates. She had been here just one time yet didn't feel the urge to see anything new. She was there just to see other people and she knew; deep down; Soobin was only there because of her. He wasn't paying her any attention, just holding hands together and walking through the crowd.</p><p>She didn't know why he cared so much, honestly.</p><p>There was just this weird corner of her brain telling her he might like him but that was ridiculous.</p><p>He was her brother. <em>Step </em>brother but really...how much of an excuse could that be.</p><p>"Can we try the shooting game?", she said out of instincts as they neared the gaming stalls.</p><p>Memories of Hyejin still remained and there was nothing she could do about it.</p><p>Soobin rubbed her knuckles with a thumb, gave an encouraging smile and went toward the ticket stalls.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just as Haruto came out.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya saw him coming out of the ticket booth and halted in her tracks.</p><p>He just <em>had </em>to play the game again; right when she thought she had moved on.</p><p>Haruto saw her and came forward cautiously. </p><p>But she was in no mind to talk. He had messed up her life enough, there was no way she would allow him to come near again. It wasn't like she hated him but breaking up without an explanation was the worst thing he could have done and she hoped he knew it too. After those horrible first few weeks, she had eventually learnt to keep to herself and was practically friendless now except those who stuck close to her just because he had Beomgyu for a brother. Thank god he hadn't spread word she was related to the others too...there wasn't she accepted from him anyways.</p><p>"Maya...? Are-"</p><p>She ignored him completely and tried to turn away but he clasped her arm, turning her around.</p><p>"Are you okay? I am sorry", he said, bending to her face level, trying to get closer.</p><p>Maya wasn't going to fall for his petty tricks again. She tried to wriggle free but his grip painfully tightened.</p><p>"Answer me. Are you okay Maya Kang? I can explain-"</p><p>She didn't <em>want </em>an explanation. Maya averted her face from his gaze-</p><p>-it was strangely still intoxicating</p><p>-but before she could say anything, he pulled her behind the game stalls and gently pushed her against one of the tents, hand slipping behind her neck and touching their foreheads like they used to do.</p><p>She didn't know why he sounded tired and his breathing came in strains. It wasn't her business anymore but it was worrying her beyond reason.</p><p>"Are you okay? Answer me", he asked again, caressing her cheek with a thumb.</p><p>"I think I am-"</p><p>"I am not-"</p><p>"I really couldn't care less", she said and tried to get away again , to only be met by his arm locking her between him and the wretched tent.</p><p>"What do you even want to say", she breathed, trying to be patient. There was something seriously wrong with Watanabe Haruto and he would have to get it right for himself. She couldn't do anything.</p><p>"Enough time has passed already-"</p><p>"So what-"</p><p>"<em>Let me complete Maya Kang. Shut it for once"</em>, he said in a deep undertone and she kept quiet for good. He had never looked at her like that before...it gave her the butterflies she had tried so hard to avoid.</p><p>"I need to tell you the truth", he continued, one arm on the side of her face, stopping her from going, other hand caressing her cheek, keeping their foreheads together, " I...please don't think otherwise of me. I think...i might be one of the reasons Kyun Hyejin...i don't know how to bring myself to say it...i really don't. I-",he sighed, his voice tailing away lamely.</p><p>Maya knew what he was about to say but it didn't make any sense. He had been with her at the carnival when she had disappeared...there couldn't be any other truth-</p><p>"What are you saying? You were with me when s-"</p><p>"A lot happened after your brother took you away. Just know you need to stay away from me after today okay? Don't look at me in school, don't cross my class-"</p><p>"I don't-"</p><p>"I have my eyes on you Maya. Always but...you have to understand. I was one of the reasons your best friend died. Do you understand?", he said, brushing their noses together, leaning in closer.</p><p>She didn't understand. Why would he say that. It wasn't true. </p><p>
  <em>Why were they lying to her? <br/></em>
</p><p>It wasn't some kind of a joke to keep on taking blame for Hyejin's death. There was only one person who could've done it...that abusive boyfriend of hers but no one had confirmed that either. But Haruto could never-</p><p>"Stop lying to me. You didn't", she said, bitter tears welling up in her eyes...she always seemed to be on the verge of tears these days...losing her best friend and their sudden break up hadn't been good at all. To top them off, he came out of nowhere...blaming himself for what had happened. It just couldn't be, he was lying. He <em>had to </em>b-</p><p>"Believe me...I didn't want to tell you this either but...you need to stay away from me okay? You need to. Ask Beomgyu Choi. He knows everything."-</p><p>-where did <em>Beomgyu </em>fit into all of this-</p><p>-"I...", he paused for a while, breathing heavily and tiredly which was just so uncharacteristic of him and continued, " I don't want to kill you like I killed Hyejin-"</p><p>"Stop saying that! You d-", she was stopped by a deep, needy kiss to the lips. He grabbed her face, pushing her harder against the tents and deepened the kiss. She tried to pull away but he locked her in place, tugging on her lower lip, not letting her go.</p><p>Few drops of tears fell down his cheeks as they kissed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>He knew what was going to happen.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Go on, hate me. I think I am making things too predictable ain't I? djhdsjshk i hate where this is going, i absolutely hate it</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. a short interlude [15]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day was bright, the sky was weirdly clear...the first in nearly two years of their city life and he was happy. Ara had seemed just so calm and at peace as they had made their way through the carnival. Maybe he was finally learning how to give the girl a good time[?].</p><p>So it came as quiet a surprise when he saw her rushing towards him, face red, eyes full of tears and hair in a tangled mess before engulfing him in a really tight hug. They were standing outside the game stalls and people stared incredulously as they passed while she cried into his chest, hanging off his neck, standing on tip toes. There wasn't time to process what had happened; her sudden actions had caught him off guard and he could do nothing but hug her back, nuzzling his head into the crook of her neck, whispering lame words of comfort as she cried on. </p><p>She pulled away from the hug and motioned toward the gates in frantic hand movements, struggling to breathe as tears kept flowing down her cheeks.</p><p>"Ara what-"</p><p>"We need to go home. <em>Now.</em>"</p><p>She was having one of her panic attacks again.</p><p>"But why-"</p><p>He barely completed his sentence when she huffed in irritation, took his hand and dragged him through the crowd, not caring to apologize to the angry people being pushed aside and stopping only when they stood by their jeep.</p><p>"We need to go home Soobinn-ssi. Its important"</p><p>"Are you going to tell me-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Its Beomgyu"</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0067"><h2>67. novelty - a haruto monologue [3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>So you told her not to come near you did you? </em>", he growled, a stubborn leather-shoed feet pressing his face against the rough highway concrete. Blood flowed freely from his mouth and made a streak on the road from where his face made contact. One of his eyes were swollen, a knee twisted the other way and arms held forcefully against his back by two of Park Jihoon's faithful crones.</p><p>The pain was unbearable.</p><p>The happiness wasn't.</p><p>
  <em>She was safe.</em>
</p><p>"I did and there's nothing you could do about it", he said snickering, blood spraying out of his mouth as he laughed in satisfaction.</p><p>It didn't last long though. Jihoon rubbed the soles of his foot yet more harshly against his face, scraping his face, making him grimace.</p><p>"O you wish..."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"She is going to come looking for you mate"</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0068"><h2>68. the world closing in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya rushed inside the house before Soobin could properly pull into the garage and went straight to Beomgyu's room...only to find him looking as tensed as she felt.</p><p>But that wasn't possible...<em>nothing </em>could compare to how she felt. No one could feel the burning sense of betrayal eating her up from the inside.</p><p>"Beomgyu-ssi, i need to know-"</p><p>"I will tell you everything, just close the door"</p><p>"what-"</p><p>"<em>fucking close it</em> ", he said through gritted teeth and she obeyed. He sat down on the edge of his bed, growing extremely fidgety by the moment but finally spoke.</p><p>"ara...did someone tell you anything on the way here?"</p><p>"they did, they said a LOT of things but tell me...who is responsible for her death?"</p><p>"you are not ready to kn-"</p><p>"i am-"</p><p>"i don't-"</p><p>"I AM READY. YOU ALL JUST KEEP TREATING ME LIKE THIS EMOTIONLESS BUNCH OF TRASH WHO CAN BE FED WITH WHATEVER LIES YOU PUT FORTH, NOT GIVING A DAMN ABOUT MY LIFE. INTERFERING IN THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, TRYING TO MAKE ME HAPPY BUT NEVER BOTHERING TO ASK HOW? I AM NOT THIS BRAINLESS, FUCKED UP CHILD YOU KNOW? IT ISN'T ALWAYS THE 'YOUNGER' SISTER ROLE THAT I GET TO PLAY. NOW MY BEST FRIEND DIED...I AM STILL BEING LIED TO AND YOU GET TO TAKE THE TRUTH TO YOUR GRAVE DO YOU? I NEED TO KNOW WHO. KILLED. HYEJIN. KYUN"</p><p>"ara...park jihoon did it but...i might have been the reason he...he couldn't be stopped-"</p><p><em>Again</em>? Everyone kept blaming themselves for what had happened, it was high time she started claiming she was the murderer too. She couldn't tell the truth from the lies and it was becoming increasingly intolerable and frustrating.</p><p>"Literally? I saw you sleeping before we went to the carnival, how the heck are you saying that? Did you just....fly to the crime scene or something-"</p><p>"stop being rude and hear me out or get out", he said in a low voice making her shut up for good and continued, "i was with Park Jihoon before Hyejin was ambushed. I was with Park Jihoon when he called for Haruto. I was <em>also </em>the one who beat him to shit thinking he was going to do something to you"</p><p>"Wh-"</p><p>"<em>Don't </em>interrupt. Haruto used to be one of that bastard's crones and even though i am not sure if he isn't one now...he was one back then. The very thought of someone harming you scared me to the roots. It was I who delayed him from saving your best friend. It was I who told Park Jihoon where she was...she was with Yeonjun-"</p><p>- Maya couldn't believe her ears. Her brothers had <em>lied </em>to her the past two years</p><p>-everyone had lied</p><p>- "but not for long. He escaped with her before we could try to stop him. I knew I couldn't do anything but Watanabe still gave chase. He could have stopped it too...had he not been scared for his own life more than a girl's-"</p><p>"exactly why are you telling me this?", she asked with forced patience. There hadn't been a single time in the last fifteen years that she had lived with her step brothers when she had felt hatred, this bitter and strong, for them.</p><p>They were fucking hypocrites. Seeing Beomgyu had gone quiet after his little 'explanation', she repeated the question again.</p><p>"why did you tell me all this? i never asked"</p><p>He didn't say anything but shoved his phone screen at her in silence.</p><p>a short imessage text had showed up on his homescreen:</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>jihoon:</p><p>"<em>yangyang county hw</em>, <em>now , got her fucking boyfriend</em>"</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ajjajaja, this book is coming to an end now, and am...being rather nasty. PLUS, its the yangyang county highway in seoul that i am talking about here, in case anybody cares to know, stay safe and stay crazy</p><p>요시</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0069"><h2>69. fear</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maya and Beomgyu hailed a taxi once out on the highway.</p><p>They had escaped through the backwindow, thinking it best to not involve the others...especially Yeonjun, he had suffered too much.</p><p>"Yangyang county", Beomgyu threw at the driver as they jumped in.</p><p>"Where in the city young man?"</p><p>"Anywhere on the highway. Please drive"</p><p>The driver looked at the two of them, mistaking them for frantic runaways no doubt but revved the engine and drove forward. Maya kept her eyes peeled for any group of guys huddled together, any black convertible,  absolutely anything to give her a clue of Haruto's whereabouts. She couldn't understand why Park Jihoon would hurt him because of her. She had never done anything to that bastard. She couldn't remember a single time they had crossed ways.</p><p>Yet here they were-</p><p>His black convertible.</p><p>"STOP! STOP THE CAR!", she shook the driver by his shoulders and yelled into his ear.</p><p>"Ma'am patience!", he hissed back, stopping the car nonetheless.</p><p>She kicked open the door and rushed towards the pavement. It was parked near the rails of the highway, beyond which the ground dipped steeply into the Han river. There wasn't anybody around, neither was the blue rusted jeep of Park Jihoon.</p><p>They couldn't have been tricked. The message had been clear but...where were they.</p><p>Beomgyu followed close behind and looked beneath the rails.</p><p>"Did you see anyone?"</p><p>"N-no...there isn't anybody-"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>" Fucking blind bitch aren't you? "</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. existence</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>***trigger warning***</b>
</p><p>
  <b>graphic depictions of violence, strong language and non-con.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>_______________</b>
</p><p>She could barely react before a guy seized her by the ponytail and wrenched her head back, pinning her arms behind her back and making her kneel in front of him.</p><p>A resounding crack broke the stony silence of the highway as a metal rod collided with Beomgyu's head, sending him reeling onto the concrete.</p><p>"No!"</p><p>"Wait till you see him", he snickered near her ears.</p><p>Maya's eyes widened in shock as two burly guys kicked Haruto to the ground and he fell in front of her . A fine line of blood trickled down his eye and mouth  as he breathed heavily, trying to support himself on his arms. He groaned from the effort but finally managed to look up at her.</p><p>She wished he hadn't. His eyes were bruised, one eye too swollen to be opened, becoming an ugly shade of purple.</p><p>"What are you doing here...", he groaned in barely more than a whisper.</p><p>"I told you she would come for you", the guy said from behind her, making her bend lower so that Haruto's face was barely inches from hers. Her arms hurt as the guy held them tighter behind her back, her knees bled from their sudden impact with the highway but looking at him nulled away all the pain.</p><p>What could she have <em>ever </em>done to <em>anybody </em>to have deserved this-</p><p>"How does it feel to see him like this? Fucked up right?"</p><p>She didn't say anything but felt a harsh kick on her back, making her fall into Haruto's bleeding arms. She whimpered from the pain and felt his tears become audible near her as the guys laughed, closing in on them.</p><p>The guy who had held her, kicked him in the guts, sending him rolling against the rails and wrenched her head from the road again, stepping on her palm when she tried to pull free.</p><p>"<em>How does it feel Kang Maya? </em>", he said kneeling in front of her, bringing her face closer to his.</p><p>
  <b>Fucking Park Jihoon.</b>
</p><p>She wouldn't answer.</p><p>There had to be a way out of this mess.</p><p>Truth was....<em>there wasn't.</em></p><p>"Wanna see your brother? Yes? Of course you want to", he said grinning at her, shaking her head roughly, making her turn toward their jeep. Beomgyu lay sprawled on the concrete near it, blood flowing from beneath his head. He wasn't moving yet his eyes were open, staring with an unmoving gaze at her...a slow smile playing on his lips.</p><p>Why wasn't he moving?</p><p>"Beomgyu-ssi!", Maya cried out, trying to reach her brother but Jihoon tugged at her hair, throwing her backwards. He aimed a kick at her stomach, making her spit out blood. Her insides felt like they were on fire as he kicked her again, pulled her up by the hair and tugged her face closer.</p><p>Her eyesight grew blurry as he clasped her cheeks painfully with a hand, shaking her roughly.</p><p><em>"How does it feel?", </em>he asked again and raised a hand to slap her when a rod collided with his head from behind her, driving him to the side.</p><p>The sound of sirens came nearer and nearer, the more she lost her consciousness. Maya turned toward the rails where Haruto lay, trying to reach his hand. He was trying to move too...yet his injuries failed him.</p><p>Her vision faded into blackness as a gout of blood splattered her face, gunshots sounded into the air and tires screeched to a halt around her.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Ara!"</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hate me too, don't worry :")</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. the chase</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soobin knew he was too late when the four of them broke into Beomgyu's room and found it deserted. </p><p>Beomgyu's phone lay on the bed, beeping with a continuous flood of messages as they looked out the window and went outside again, searching the rest of the house.</p><p>"Yeonjun hyung!", he called as he saw the most recent message.</p><p>Jihoon:</p><p>
  <em>come quick or he is dead meat</em>
</p><p>There wasn't time to lose. Previous messages showed they had headed towards the Yangyang highway and Yeonjun did just the same.</p><p>They rushed downstairs, each grabbing anything worth hurting and hopped into the jeep as the eldest revved the jeep engine, rolling into the highway.</p><p>Huening called the police, Taehyun informed anybody he could as they sped across the greenery, desperate for anything that would head them towards their sister and Beomgyu.</p><p>A call back from the police station asked them to wait for the official cars, ordering them to halt on the highway till further notice but Yeonjun didn't pay heed to anything. His eyes remained glued on the highway, foot pressed against the accelerator constantly.</p><p>Turned out they were quick but the officials were quicker. Sirens blared behind them the nearer they got to Yangyang county.</p><p>"HYUNG STOP! THERE THEY ARE!", Soobin yelled from the dashboard as the group of laughing guys came closer. Their jeep skidded to a halt beside some black convertible before he hopped out, picking up a bloody metal rod and hit the nearest guy, who turned out to be the fucker Jihoon of all others. </p><p>He let go of Ara in a groan but hurled a punch at his jaw as he fell. Jihoon grabbed hold of Soobin's collar, hitting him hard around the cheek bone, making his head collide with the road.</p><p>Gunshots sounded all around as he tried to fight back</p><p>That's when it hit him.</p><p>
  <em>The guys had guns.</em>
</p><p>Yeonjun and the others scattered around the road as Jihoon's groans intercepted them, shooting wherever they could as he tried to release himself from the fucker's grip.</p><p>Amidst all the confusion, he could see Ara inching closer to a guy huddled against the rails, blood flowing from her mouth and knees, an arm clasping her stomach.</p><p>Jihoon noticed his gaze and immediately threw him aside, picking up a gun and aiming to shoot at her.</p><p><em>"Ara!", </em>Soobin shouted, getting up and averting Jihoon's hand from his grip on the gun but it was already too late.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The bullet had been shot.</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. togetherness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Calm down young man, its going to be alright ", four officers said to the brothers, holding each back by the chest, not letting them go near the traffic of cars and the huge ambulance.</p><p>They could see their sister being lifted into the car, a IV pierced through her arm, saline stand shaking ominously by the movement but they wanted to see Beomgyu.</p><p>
  <em>They needed to see him.</em>
</p><p>"Who the fuck are in those stretchers? ANSWER ME!", Huening yelled hanging onto the buff arms of his officer, face red out of the effort of trying to escape, bitter tears flowing down his cheeks.</p><p>"FUCKING TELL US!", Yeonjun grimaced, trying to inch closer to the road blocks and strips of yellow surrounding the bodies but no one payed them heed.</p><p>"We have called your parents, they will meet you in the hospital. Get in the ambulance", another burly looking man in uniform said, coming upto them, walky talky buzzing with orders from all around. But they didn't want to leave.</p><p>They wouldn't leave until Beomgyu was showed to them.</p><p>They knew he didn't die. </p><p>He was just unconscious for too long.</p><p>"LET US GO!", Soobin shouted, nearly escaping from his officer but him, along with the others were shoved roughly into the ambulance and locked in before they were driven away.</p><p>"STOP THE CAR. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING STOPPING US FROM SEEING OUR BROTHER", Taehyun  yelled sliding open the window into the driver's cabin. But that moron wouldn't budge either.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"Look after your sister young man, she needs some rest. You have just lost a brother and I understand your pain"</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. a short interlude [16]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>[ three months later ]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[ soobin's graduation ]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear diary,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It is my graduation today. I am outside the local cemetery right now, Ara is beside me but we are not talking. The silence is feeling good. She wonders what I am writing so much about, i can tell by her look but doesn't say anything. She is busy sorting out the flowers on Beomgyu's grave. She has brought marigolds today. They will look beautiful on his grave. Yeonjun hyung is coming with the others to pick us up, our parents are coming too. They will leave after my graduation again. They haven't really stayed long enough with us and are trying to make up for the lost time. I know they are trying their best but the best isn't always enough, we know. Ara asks me to help her with the flowers and i kiss her on the cheek now. I love seeing her blush whenever I get close. There is something to her that i find addicting. But she still needs to move on. Haruto's death hadn't been good for her. I understand. To lose two people at once...i wish i could be there for her in a way he was. But i cannot. O wow, our jeep has pulled into the driveway and i can see my parents from here! i wonder if they can see us too?  I yell but Yeonjun hyung is cursing at me because I am delaying my own graduation. I have to go now. There isn't much to say. We all have to move on one day or the other after all. Goodbye,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours lovingly,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Choi Soobin.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. novelty - a haruto tribute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>THEIR MEMORIES:</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: Haruto-ssi! Why are you blushing?!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: Nothing Maya Kang.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: Come on</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: I love my chicken noodle soup:)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_________________</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maya: THIS is what you wanted to tell me?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: Yes</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: ...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: :)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_________________</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maya: Why that face?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: Your brothers...they seem to hate me...why Maya Kang?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: They don't hate you! Yah! SMIILE!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_________________</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Haruto: Yes bitches, she kissed me on the cheek.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Friends: ....</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: okay so no one is going to clap for me? i will clap for myself:)</em>
</p><p>
  <b>[end]</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>76. incertitude - a beomgyu tribute</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>THEIR MEMORIES:</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: Ara, is he your boyfr-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Haruto: Ya! Chiken noodle soup!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: WTF-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_________________</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maya: I got a brother named Beomgyu-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: hm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: he is the world's biggest...biggest...BIGGEST...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: hmm</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: Idiot:)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: OYI!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_________________</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maya: Soobin-ssi! MEET HARUTO!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soobin: *looks away*</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: :(</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: *doesn't want to but-* HhHhHi!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>_________________</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Maya: Beomgyu-ssi!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: Yes?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: Today is international brother's d-</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Beomgyu: What shit?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maya: Don't spoil! So like...my friends told me to record your answer. Would you die for me?</em>
</p><p>Beomgyu: *winks* yes, gladly:)</p><p>
  <em>Maya: YOU ARE THE BEST!</em>
</p><p>
  <b>[end]</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>77. epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>[two years later]</b>
</p><p>
  <b>[maya's graduation]</b>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear diary,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Its my graduation t-</em>
</p><p>"Ara? You in there?", Soobin asked, knocking on her slightly open door.</p><p>"Yes I am but can you come in later? I am writing-"</p><p>"No its important"</p><p>"O-okay", she said closing her diary and sitting straight. These days, she got extremely nervous whenever he would come anywhere near her.</p><p>"Hi!", he said brightly, coming in and locking the door behind him.</p><p>
  <em>Why the heck was he doing that-</em>
</p><p>"You look pretty today"</p><p>"Thank you"</p><p>"So...I think its time to tell you something"</p><p>"You tell me a <em>lot </em>of things all the time. What is it now?"</p><p>"You must be kidding right now? But okay...i will tell you anyways", he said, leaning against her cupboard, cocking his head to a side and smiling at her.</p><p>He looked so much like Ha-</p><p>
  <em>She wouldn't think of him anymore. Soobin had made her promise that much.</em>
</p><p>"Why you staring at me like that creep?"</p><p>"YA! I am not a creep! You are!"</p><p>"You-"</p><p>"No you-"</p><p>"<em>You-</em>"</p><p>"SOOBIN SSI! YOU ARE THE CR-", her voice tailed away as he took a few lazy strides toward her, putting an arm on either side of her and crouching to be at eye level.</p><p>"You. Are. The. Creep", he said coming too close to her face.</p><p>"Get away! Why are you being so weird..."</p><p> </p><p>She perfectly knew why. </p><p>She knew he liked her way more than a brother should, obviously she wouldn't tell him that.</p><p>She knew she liked him too which was <em>weird. <br/></em></p><p>Things never turned out like this between siblings. They could nev-</p><p>"You are telling me you don't know?", he mumbled against her ear, fingers slipping into hers and intertwining them together. His nose slightly brushed against her cheek and she could feel his dimples rise in a smile.</p><p>
  <em>He knew what he was doing. <br/></em>
</p><p>"I-I don't"</p><p>He snickered.</p><p>"I like you Maya Kang-"</p><p>- what the actual fuck</p><p>"and you know it too-"</p><p>- hearing her name from his mouth strangely made her feel giddy.</p><p>"I don't know anything. I d-", a soft, sweet pair of lips met hers perfectly as he tipped her face up, parting them slightly as he deepened the kiss. Her fingers had tightened around his hand, cheeks growing warm under his palm. </p><p>Strangely....she kissed back but it seemed as if she had stopped breathing after a while. </p><p>Soobin broke the kiss, pecking her lips lightly; making her blush yet more furiously.</p><p>
  <em>Where the fuck was he getting all the courage from suddenly?</em>
</p><p>"H-how..."</p><p>"Yeonjun hyung knows...he said it was now or never", he said chuckling.</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>She laughed as she saw the color rise up in his face.</p><p>He looked cute while blushing.</p><p>"Go on...he said you are supposed to say that you like me too!", he whined.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"I do"</em>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
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